i'm very conflicted about my birth parents

the thing about my background in my adoption records even though I am mad at my birth mother what I keep asking myself why she would even bring me into this world and why she would have given birth to me only for me to end up being involved in an adoption agency and foster home and still I think I should have been aborted from the very beginning my birth parents should have known they couldn't care for me why did they even bring me into this world in the first place?