Farewell, Feelings and Fixation

We had my Dad's funeral. It went as well as these things can. The current pastor gave tribute to Dad's years at the church. My brother spoke of dad supporting him (something I never really felt from dad). I spoke of his love for the family especially the grandkids and his courage particularly through his illnesses.

I am still trying to process how I really feel. Sad, relieved, angry, liberated it's a weird constantly changing set of feelings.

My brother suggested we do more clearing out of the house. But I couldn't face it. In the end I just took piles of clothes to a charity shop and left for them to go through. The lady there was so understanding.

I drove home but I knew I didn't want to get home and frankly wanted to change how I felt but didn't want to drink. I ended up at a shopping centre and bought far too many new dresses and tops. Oh well. Better than drinking.

VeronicaJane

Supposedly funerals are meant to bring a sense of closure, but not always. Having to go through his house and things will surely continue to swirl emotions. So yes, a weird constantly changing set of feelings is entirely to be expected and normal.

That was brave of you to speak at his funeral. I am sure it was nicely done.

I understand the urge, and yes - some new dresses and tops are much better than drinking.