Farewell, Feelings and Fixation
We had my Dad's funeral. It went as well as these things can. The current pastor gave tribute to Dad's years at the church. My brother spoke of dad supporting him (something I never really felt from dad). I spoke of his love for the family especially the grandkids and his courage particularly through his illnesses.
I am still trying to process how I really feel. Sad, relieved, angry, liberated it's a weird constantly changing set of feelings.
My brother suggested we do more clearing out of the house. But I couldn't face it. In the end I just took piles of clothes to a charity shop and left for them to go through. The lady there was so understanding.
I drove home but I knew I didn't want to get home and frankly wanted to change how I felt but didn't want to drink. I ended up at a shopping centre and bought far too many new dresses and tops. Oh well. Better than drinking.
I am still trying to process how I really feel. Sad, relieved, angry, liberated it's a weird constantly changing set of feelings.
My brother suggested we do more clearing out of the house. But I couldn't face it. In the end I just took piles of clothes to a charity shop and left for them to go through. The lady there was so understanding.
I drove home but I knew I didn't want to get home and frankly wanted to change how I felt but didn't want to drink. I ended up at a shopping centre and bought far too many new dresses and tops. Oh well. Better than drinking.
