This is just a little rant. I know I’m 36 and this probably shouldn’t bother me as much as it does, but it still does.
My mom sometimes talks about how awful my grandpa was to her when she was growing up. He was her stepdad and apparently treated her very differently than he treated her younger sister. From what she’s said, a lot of it was mentally abusive, and I know that kind of stuff can stay with you forever.
But it’s really hard for me to hear sometimes because the papaw I knew was completely different. I have nothing but good memories of him. He was always loving to me, and he’s been gone for years now. So hearing those stories kind of messes with my heart and my memories.
I know my mom went through things I’ll never fully understand, and I don’t think she’s lying or exaggerating. I think she’s still hurting from it. But sometimes I wish she could talk to someone like a therapist about it, because hearing it over and over is really heavy for me.
And honestly… I feel guilty even saying that, because I know her pain is real. But it still hurts to hear those things about someone I loved so much.
Does that make me selfish? I genuinely don’t know.
But it’s really hard for me to hear sometimes because the papaw I knew was completely different. I have nothing but good memories of him. He was always loving to me, and he’s been gone for years now. So hearing those stories kind of messes with my heart and my memories.
I know my mom went through things I’ll never fully understand, and I don’t think she’s lying or exaggerating. I think she’s still hurting from it. But sometimes I wish she could talk to someone like a therapist about it, because hearing it over and over is really heavy for me.
And honestly… I feel guilty even saying that, because I know her pain is real. But it still hurts to hear those things about someone I loved so much.
Does that make me selfish? I genuinely don’t know.
