The Frugal Noodle phase of my online activity here begins
Hello everyone!!
I was pretty sure i'd never come back, but I need to be able to think out loud here, nowhere else that I know of on the internet is like SW, where you can basically say anything.
I'm in the process of deleting all my old posts, there are some 730 left to delete, will take some time.
My dad has been in the hospital for about a month now, his mentality is deteriorating at an accelerated rate, he was going to have an assessment last Monday but couldn't continue because of his grip on reality is looser than ..... no I won't go there.
So there's a high possibility he's gonna end up in a home, something he's not been in favor of, but I can't take care of him anymore, he needs 24/7 care, it would mean i'd need to not sleep anymore, and the way me and him get along we'd be screaming at each other all the time.
I hate getting angry, it takes up so much energy.
But my brother is going to be driving me to 2 family gatherings this Christmas time, and dad might be joining us for the 1st one, I expect it not to go smoothly, him in the car afterwards yelling I want to go home!! Over and over, and my brother who knows how to keep his cool, snaps and then family dynamics becomes fractured forever. Well perhaps i'm just a glass half empty sort of guy and it'll go better than that.
All my free spending money is 98% used up now for groceries and what will be bills, there will be enough for cheap smokes and gummies plus some taxi rides, after all that, very very little can be used, and I must be saving that up for emergencies.
Thankfully all those years from 2003 to 2025 were preparing me for such a time as this with thousands of books and movies and shows to feast on, and there's a lot you can enjoy for free online, so entertainment and educational pursuits can thrive without any expenditure.
I am looking forward to seeing my relatives, and eating good food, my last few grocery orders were all of a certain limited kind, I can only use the microwave for most things, there's the mouse element they've taken over the whole place, especially the kitchen. To take care of them professionally would require the place to be cleaned up, and it's a kind of mess that is overwhelming, I KNOW that if I start cleaning up i'll be finding grotesque mouse corpses with little maggots coming out of them, for now it's out of sight out of mind, shoving down books, shows and movies into my mind to have a continuous galaxy of other "places" to visit.
I hope you all are having a good festive time, but if not I can comprehend how it can be like that. ✌☃
I was pretty sure i'd never come back, but I need to be able to think out loud here, nowhere else that I know of on the internet is like SW, where you can basically say anything.
I'm in the process of deleting all my old posts, there are some 730 left to delete, will take some time.
My dad has been in the hospital for about a month now, his mentality is deteriorating at an accelerated rate, he was going to have an assessment last Monday but couldn't continue because of his grip on reality is looser than ..... no I won't go there.
So there's a high possibility he's gonna end up in a home, something he's not been in favor of, but I can't take care of him anymore, he needs 24/7 care, it would mean i'd need to not sleep anymore, and the way me and him get along we'd be screaming at each other all the time.
I hate getting angry, it takes up so much energy.
But my brother is going to be driving me to 2 family gatherings this Christmas time, and dad might be joining us for the 1st one, I expect it not to go smoothly, him in the car afterwards yelling I want to go home!! Over and over, and my brother who knows how to keep his cool, snaps and then family dynamics becomes fractured forever. Well perhaps i'm just a glass half empty sort of guy and it'll go better than that.
All my free spending money is 98% used up now for groceries and what will be bills, there will be enough for cheap smokes and gummies plus some taxi rides, after all that, very very little can be used, and I must be saving that up for emergencies.
Thankfully all those years from 2003 to 2025 were preparing me for such a time as this with thousands of books and movies and shows to feast on, and there's a lot you can enjoy for free online, so entertainment and educational pursuits can thrive without any expenditure.
I am looking forward to seeing my relatives, and eating good food, my last few grocery orders were all of a certain limited kind, I can only use the microwave for most things, there's the mouse element they've taken over the whole place, especially the kitchen. To take care of them professionally would require the place to be cleaned up, and it's a kind of mess that is overwhelming, I KNOW that if I start cleaning up i'll be finding grotesque mouse corpses with little maggots coming out of them, for now it's out of sight out of mind, shoving down books, shows and movies into my mind to have a continuous galaxy of other "places" to visit.
I hope you all are having a good festive time, but if not I can comprehend how it can be like that. ✌☃
46-50, M
