I’m scared

I’m scared… my father has been sick for like 3 days. I never show it, acting all jolly but I’m actually really tired and scared of everything right now. I go to school late because I’m taking care of him… and have lots of things to do at school then I worry about him. I don’t want to show others how scared and worried I am right now. I’m so tired… not of taking care of him but how my life feels like shit right now. I wish I could take all the sickness away from my father. I haven’t been the best or good daughter to him and I feel so loss because he’s not getting better. I’m so scared, I don’t know what to do. I don’t wanna lose him. I haven’t achieve my dream of giving him a good life… I still haven’t make up for all the sacrifices he did for me. Tomorrow will be his follow up check up. I’m just feeling overwhelmed with worry right now because this is the first time he didn’t get well after a day… maybe because he’s getting old but I hate how powerless I am right now… I wish I could do something, I wish I know what to do.