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Please respon with nice words only. 😞

So, I’m just curious and wondering..

To the point, my father used to be a player. My mother was the third woman, and only with her did my father have a daughter—that’s me. If counted, I’m the third child out of six siblings, and all my siblings are boys, each from different mothers. One son from the fourth woman ended up living with my father and my mother, because they decided to stay together and take him in. Then, I also have two younger biological brothers.

But what confuses me through all this is… ever since I was little, my father often disciplined me harshly. He would hit me or pour cold water on me. I remember every time he hit me and so on, but at the same time, he also loved me. He said I was the one he loved the most. And I don’t understand all of this...

He hit me, but he loved me...

And I also feel confused, because out of all those boys, I was the only one he hit. He always seemed to get emotional or angry whenever I made a mistake. I never saw him hitting or scolding my brothers the way he did with me—he hit me and screamed at me.

I’m confused about all of this...

He hit me, but he loved me?

I don’t understand... My feelings are all mixed up.

I once thought, maybe it’s because I was the first child, and they say the first is like a “test,” since it’s their first time being parents too. Or maybe it’s because I’m a girl? Or maybe because I’m weaker somehow... I don’t understand... But he loved me.
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Adstar · 56-60, M
Your Dad used to be a player.... That could be the origin of the way he dealt with you because you are female..

He probably feared you would grow up and become a sex object of players,, getting handed from one to another like he used to manipulate, use and dump woman.. Maybe because he loved you and did not want you to grow up to be used by men like him, he was harder on you. But he did not know the right way to prevent you becoming a side chick for a user like he was..

In any case a player may know how to manipulate and control woman but that does mean they know how to raise a girl..

I guess in the long run you will find out if you end up being deceived and used by the players out there or you become a woman who is too smart and you avoided all that.. But then again maybe it will be in spite of how you where raised, rather then because of the way you where raised..