Behind the scenes
Hi folks, i'm actually gonna be going to sleep soon, but I have to share with the community here just a taste of what gets under my skin with my dad.
My brother does our finances, if it wasn't for him, we'd be in serious debt, dad is a spender, not a saver, my brother's own words, well a few months ago my bro had written the greatest thing I ever read from him, a calm and logical point by point reason why he shouldn't use these TFSA savings thing to pay off something, in it he rallies to my support and says that that will help me live after he's gone. Last night dad just casually tells me he was looking at that old email, and how he didn't like it and deleted it. An email that spoke up for me, from a person who is actually saving us from bankruptcy and he doesn't like it, and so I deleted it he says with a glint in his eye, and inside I want to lash out at him, but i'm a stutterer, when angered my words don't flow, they make me sound like I don't know what I want to say, and then in my mind's eye he chuckles at me and that's the straw the breaks the camel's back I scream at him using F words, the whole nine yards -- I play it over in my mind and contemplate what would then happen, would he tell me that's BS cuz he's told me on much less important things that my words were BS, but then like the wings of a dove, he'd get really religious zealot kind of way and praying out loud and crying and jee-whiz ... but I told my brother and he's not surprised, and it doesn't effect him like it does me, I love my brother, he keeps me from going full on crazy.
My brother does our finances, if it wasn't for him, we'd be in serious debt, dad is a spender, not a saver, my brother's own words, well a few months ago my bro had written the greatest thing I ever read from him, a calm and logical point by point reason why he shouldn't use these TFSA savings thing to pay off something, in it he rallies to my support and says that that will help me live after he's gone. Last night dad just casually tells me he was looking at that old email, and how he didn't like it and deleted it. An email that spoke up for me, from a person who is actually saving us from bankruptcy and he doesn't like it, and so I deleted it he says with a glint in his eye, and inside I want to lash out at him, but i'm a stutterer, when angered my words don't flow, they make me sound like I don't know what I want to say, and then in my mind's eye he chuckles at me and that's the straw the breaks the camel's back I scream at him using F words, the whole nine yards -- I play it over in my mind and contemplate what would then happen, would he tell me that's BS cuz he's told me on much less important things that my words were BS, but then like the wings of a dove, he'd get really religious zealot kind of way and praying out loud and crying and jee-whiz ... but I told my brother and he's not surprised, and it doesn't effect him like it does me, I love my brother, he keeps me from going full on crazy.
46-50, M
