My boyfriend’s daughter's nickname for me is giant overdressed cow. They are very rude to me.

I am 43 year old divorced woman. I have a son.

I often feel powerful and confident, thought sometimes I feel like I can be accidentally intimidating (I’m 6 foot tall”). I’ve learned to be a little extra friendly or goofy with new people so they don’t get that impression.

When I’m feeling low self esteem sometimes I feel too big, and get very self conscious about being larger than other women. But usually I can get out of that headspace by putting on a badass outfit that only a very tall statuesque woman could pull off.
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I moved here in this small town about 19 months ago. I moved here because is very near my son's boarding school. About 17 months ago i started dating this 47 year old divorced guy. He lives with his two teenage daughters. .

I was introduced to his daughters 2 months into our relationship. They never really liked me.

I’d try to be nice to them and talk to them but they never really responded to me.

My boyfriend asked me to be patient with them.

His daughters ignored me for a while and then they started to be very rude. They would make offhanded comments about me, insult me, and told me that I am a giant , arrogant, overdressed cow. They tend to just call me a giant cow and it's really starting to tick me off. At first, which was a year ago, I was fine and just ignored and laughed along side (I know I shouldn't have, never made the wisest choice). These days though I'm getting annoying and want to put a stop to it. It's insulting and demeaning
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My boyfriend never took any disciplinary steps. He only ever explained why what they said was inappropriate / mean and that they shouldn’t say things like that, but he’s never asked them to apologize to me and he’s never grounded them.

When I approached my boyfriend about the issue, he said that his daughters were having issues coping with another person (me) being in the equation. Their mom is an addict. She is addicted to cocaine. In 2018 she was sentenced to 3 years in prison for credit card fraud. They divorced. She served 2 years. My boyfriend has full custody of his daughters.

I have to put up with the constant insults for a year. I don’t care that they don’t like me, but it is getting tiring.

Problem is I don't want to be direct about it because it won't play out normally where people will just stop. I don't know to go about it but I'd like to make sure there's an end to this.

One thing I can think of right now is just saying "Don't call me a giant cow" in a serious tone and that's it but not sure what to do after if it gets ignored.

Or am I just overreacting?

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Punches · 46-50, F

I grew up as a soft hearted girl, well I’ve had my mean moments and I wasn’t always nice.

For whatever reason, taller women are often big teddy bears. Unlike tall men who like to throw their weight around.

Anyways...

Now If the girls have been getting away with this for a year now, things are not likely to change.
Especially with immature teenagers who cannot be reasoned with. You have to think about whether or not you really want to deal with this. Rude teenagers typically do not change until the real world has kicked them in the backside a few times.
But when we have to deal with someone who is rude constantly, how does one deal with that?

People get conditioned to interact with others a certain way. That is why boundaries and such need to be established early on.

Now with them saying you are overdressed, I assume you tend to dress nice or more business-like. Some people are intimidated by sharp dressers. I tend to "over dress" and a few people didn't like it. Tough. We do not want to look like slobs. They are going to have to get over it.

People talk about height, but I believe it is shape, not really size, that makes someone look good or not.

LaLa81 · 41-45, F

@Punches I was always the tallest in my class. They use to call me “giraffe” The older I get the more confidence I get from the fact that I am tall. Women aren’t supposed to take up a lot of space, we aren’t supposed to be bigger than guys, aren’t supposed to be the tallest in the room. And the fact that I am is making me happy. Honestly even though it doesn’t make sense being tall has made me more secure in my femininity and beauty. I throughly enjoy being large. My parents are extremely rich. I grew up rich.
I am dressing up everywhere (even for grocery shopping ). The whole shebang, satin/leather/shiny pants/skirts, satin/silk blouses, pantyhose, shapewear, high heels, full make up on, be it morning, noon or evening.
Most of my outfits are well-coordinated in terms of color
I love my style and get lots of compliments on my clothes. . My clothing makes me stick out like a sore thumb . I am always dressed up to the max, on high heels, full make up on.

I feel confident this way, so i don't want to dress down . I don't live with him, counting my lucky stars for that lol. I can't imagine how much harder of a time that would be for me and his daughters. ALL kids have a need to belong and like to exert power. They're naturally egocentric and are learning about their boundaries. That's part of their natural development. The parents' job is to teach them those boundaries, which my boyfriend is failing to do, probably because that takes a lot of work and he's not into actually putting in the effort. He just keeps saying the dynamic will get better.

LaLa81 · 41-45, F

@Punches @Punches I do have a weird mix of an elegant and eccentric style. I know that I will stand out and people will judge me. But I wear these clothes to please myself, not others, so I couldn't care less.