Upset
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

My boyfriend’s daughter's nickname for me is giant overdressed cow. They are very rude to me.

I am 43 year old divorced woman. I have a son.

I often feel powerful and confident, thought sometimes I feel like I can be accidentally intimidating (I’m 6 foot tall”). I’ve learned to be a little extra friendly or goofy with new people so they don’t get that impression.

When I’m feeling low self esteem sometimes I feel too big, and get very self conscious about being larger than other women. But usually I can get out of that headspace by putting on a badass outfit that only a very tall statuesque woman could pull off.
.


I moved here in this small town about 19 months ago. I moved here because is very near my son's boarding school. About 17 months ago i started dating this 47 year old divorced guy. He lives with his two teenage daughters. .

I was introduced to his daughters 2 months into our relationship. They never really liked me.

I’d try to be nice to them and talk to them but they never really responded to me.

My boyfriend asked me to be patient with them.

His daughters ignored me for a while and then they started to be very rude. They would make offhanded comments about me, insult me, and told me that I am a giant , arrogant, overdressed cow. They tend to just call me a giant cow and it's really starting to tick me off. At first, which was a year ago, I was fine and just ignored and laughed along side (I know I shouldn't have, never made the wisest choice). These days though I'm getting annoying and want to put a stop to it. It's insulting and demeaning
.

My boyfriend never took any disciplinary steps. He only ever explained why what they said was inappropriate / mean and that they shouldn’t say things like that, but he’s never asked them to apologize to me and he’s never grounded them.

When I approached my boyfriend about the issue, he said that his daughters were having issues coping with another person (me) being in the equation. Their mom is an addict. She is addicted to cocaine. In 2018 she was sentenced to 3 years in prison for credit card fraud. They divorced. She served 2 years. My boyfriend has full custody of his daughters.

I have to put up with the constant insults for a year. I don’t care that they don’t like me, but it is getting tiring.


Problem is I don't want to be direct about it because it won't play out normally where people will just stop. I don't know to go about it but I'd like to make sure there's an end to this.

One thing I can think of right now is just saying "Don't call me a giant cow" in a serious tone and that's it but not sure what to do after if it gets ignored.

Or am I just overreacting?
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
DoubleRings · 51-55, F
The kids should learn never to comment on anyones body no matter who they are - child or adult. Coping with loss or not. Period. If they continue this, maybe have your bf have a chat with them. If they are young enough, there is a really good book called have you filled a bucket today? That could open the lines of discussion about appropriate and kind comments (bucket filler) vs angry rude or inappropriate comments (bucket spiller). Connect it to how you feel. Just cause they have a hard time coping doesn't excuse their abusive behaviour and you don’t have to tolerate it. You teach others - including your bf- how to treat you by what you tolerate. In fact if your presence is so distressing to them to the point they absolutely cannot comport themselves in a respectful way, then kindly see yourself out for their benefit and yours. It’s not fair. Plus apples don’t fall far from the tree, and if your bf permits this level of disrespect, this behaviour is probably festering in the tree too. 🚩