Upset
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My boyfriend’s daughter's nickname for me is giant overdressed cow. They are very rude to me.

I am 43 year old divorced woman. I have a son.

I often feel powerful and confident, thought sometimes I feel like I can be accidentally intimidating (I’m 6 foot tall”). I’ve learned to be a little extra friendly or goofy with new people so they don’t get that impression.

When I’m feeling low self esteem sometimes I feel too big, and get very self conscious about being larger than other women. But usually I can get out of that headspace by putting on a badass outfit that only a very tall statuesque woman could pull off.
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I moved here in this small town about 19 months ago. I moved here because is very near my son's boarding school. About 17 months ago i started dating this 47 year old divorced guy. He lives with his two teenage daughters. .

I was introduced to his daughters 2 months into our relationship. They never really liked me.

I’d try to be nice to them and talk to them but they never really responded to me.

My boyfriend asked me to be patient with them.

His daughters ignored me for a while and then they started to be very rude. They would make offhanded comments about me, insult me, and told me that I am a giant , arrogant, overdressed cow. They tend to just call me a giant cow and it's really starting to tick me off. At first, which was a year ago, I was fine and just ignored and laughed along side (I know I shouldn't have, never made the wisest choice). These days though I'm getting annoying and want to put a stop to it. It's insulting and demeaning
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My boyfriend never took any disciplinary steps. He only ever explained why what they said was inappropriate / mean and that they shouldn’t say things like that, but he’s never asked them to apologize to me and he’s never grounded them.

When I approached my boyfriend about the issue, he said that his daughters were having issues coping with another person (me) being in the equation. Their mom is an addict. She is addicted to cocaine. In 2018 she was sentenced to 3 years in prison for credit card fraud. They divorced. She served 2 years. My boyfriend has full custody of his daughters.

I have to put up with the constant insults for a year. I don’t care that they don’t like me, but it is getting tiring.


Problem is I don't want to be direct about it because it won't play out normally where people will just stop. I don't know to go about it but I'd like to make sure there's an end to this.

One thing I can think of right now is just saying "Don't call me a giant cow" in a serious tone and that's it but not sure what to do after if it gets ignored.

Or am I just overreacting?
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I think its important to draw a line in between what can be said and what cannot.Clearly ,they’re feeling insecure when you’re around their dad .With time and patience ,these could be resolved.
Try being patient ,with them if you love your bf .
LaLa81 · 41-45, F
@Caleidoscope thanks for your support . Thank you very much. You are right . I must be patient.
LaLa81 · 41-45, F
@Caleidoscope My boyfriend is very protective of his daughters, because of the whole situation with his ex wife. Their mom is an addict. She is addicted to cocaine. In 2018 she was sentenced to 3 years in prison for credit card fraud. They divorced. She served 2 years. My boyfriend has full custody of his daughters.
@Caleidoscope They're not insecure, they're angry that their father chose another woman that to them feels like a betrayal against their own mother. I have been there, my mother chose a second husband that used me like a punching bag because I dared to challenge his uber religiosity, in his own mind's eye, my mother was trying to replace him as a father as my own Dad died when I was 10, she eventually chose him over me when I was 16 1/2, throwing me into the foster care system, because she was tired of the fighting and claiming I was not doing my part, despite getting almost $400 a month social security survivor's benefits. That's what the daughters are afraid of most, being pushed aside.
@NativePortlander1970 yeah but that ain’t her fault anyways .There are two ways to do this for her ,either confront them and tell them to shut up which might escalate to anything unpleasant or keep quiet and non reactive.
I prefer that she chooses the second option because that might just possibly turn out better in future.
@LaLa81 Leave him, your patience will only be trampled upon. I tried being a kind and gentle role model with my own late ex fiancee's son, to be a better role model and example than what my mother's second husband was to me, heck, I even took him to the shooting range and taught him how to shoot on his 17th birthday, which did impress him a lot, I still remember it to this day :)
@Caleidoscope It does not matter that it's not her fault, the kid does not see it that way and does not care, all the girl sees is an invader.