Upset
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My boyfriend’s daughter's nickname for me is giant overdressed cow. They are very rude to me.

I am 43 year old divorced woman. I have a son.

I often feel powerful and confident, thought sometimes I feel like I can be accidentally intimidating (I’m 6 foot tall”). I’ve learned to be a little extra friendly or goofy with new people so they don’t get that impression.

When I’m feeling low self esteem sometimes I feel too big, and get very self conscious about being larger than other women. But usually I can get out of that headspace by putting on a badass outfit that only a very tall statuesque woman could pull off.
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I moved here in this small town about 19 months ago. I moved here because is very near my son's boarding school. About 17 months ago i started dating this 47 year old divorced guy. He lives with his two teenage daughters. .

I was introduced to his daughters 2 months into our relationship. They never really liked me.

I’d try to be nice to them and talk to them but they never really responded to me.

My boyfriend asked me to be patient with them.

His daughters ignored me for a while and then they started to be very rude. They would make offhanded comments about me, insult me, and told me that I am a giant , arrogant, overdressed cow. They tend to just call me a giant cow and it's really starting to tick me off. At first, which was a year ago, I was fine and just ignored and laughed along side (I know I shouldn't have, never made the wisest choice). These days though I'm getting annoying and want to put a stop to it. It's insulting and demeaning
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My boyfriend never took any disciplinary steps. He only ever explained why what they said was inappropriate / mean and that they shouldn’t say things like that, but he’s never asked them to apologize to me and he’s never grounded them.

When I approached my boyfriend about the issue, he said that his daughters were having issues coping with another person (me) being in the equation. Their mom is an addict. She is addicted to cocaine. In 2018 she was sentenced to 3 years in prison for credit card fraud. They divorced. She served 2 years. My boyfriend has full custody of his daughters.

I have to put up with the constant insults for a year. I don’t care that they don’t like me, but it is getting tiring.


Problem is I don't want to be direct about it because it won't play out normally where people will just stop. I don't know to go about it but I'd like to make sure there's an end to this.

One thing I can think of right now is just saying "Don't call me a giant cow" in a serious tone and that's it but not sure what to do after if it gets ignored.

Or am I just overreacting?
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HumanEarth · F
My daughters are well over 6 feet tall. We're all over 6 feet tall out 11. The other half, me and 9 kids. There is only 3 that are just under 6 feet tall

Turn that negative into a positive. That will steal their power from their name calling.

I know you don't like it. But one one way is use "Oversize Cow" like a professional wrestling name and play fight with kids with it.

It takes the power of the name away and their power of hurting you. That's a example of turning a negative into a positive.
LaLa81 · 41-45, F
@HumanEarth thanks for your advice. How do you mean? I should playwrestle with them?
HumanEarth · F
I used that for an example. Like in my family we all wrestle and the kids all wrestle

But can be anything. To the daughters they see you as a threat and went to take their dad away from them

You have two problems going on.

Kids are being mean to try to get you to run and leave their dad.

I don't know what happened with their mom
LaLa81 · 41-45, F
@HumanEarth Their mom is an addict. She is addicted to cocaine. In 2018 she was sentenced to 3 years in prison for credit card fraud. They divorced. She served 2 years. My boyfriend has full custody of his daughters.
HumanEarth · F
My ex was the pill popper addict. I was in his shoes back in 1990s. That's not a fun world and put the kids though hell
HumanEarth · F
If you want to talk PM we can
LaLa81 · 41-45, F
@HumanEarth that is why i am patient with them
HumanEarth · F
It could take up to a year for them to come around.
LaLa81 · 41-45, F
@HumanEarth your ex wind up in prison too?
HumanEarth · F
Oh yeah, overdosed a few times, twice CPR was performed. They're clean now, but just a shell of human.
LaLa81 · 41-45, F
@HumanEarth Sorry you went through this.
HumanEarth · F
I was gone, before that, but kids were still in the picture, custody of kids, visitations, courts and other BS that goes on that other people just don't see.

When your young and in love. You think its only to get by. To help them sleep, to help with pain.

Then they start seeing other doctors in different countys, even other states to get pills.

Not just taking one or two at a time. But 15 to 20 at a time and then chase it down with booze.

But you stay because you think you can fix them and save them