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My mom is getting scammed

She approached me yesterday, asking me to help her take a picture with her phone. She was wearing a pretty shirt, had done her hair with a flower headband. She looked nice.
Then she told me it was because those people she’s talking with on FB told her to send a picture. My heart broke for her. I tried to tell her again that they were scamming her.
I pointed out parts in her messages that were clearly suspicious.
“When does anyone in Social Security tell you to go to the grocery store to complete a process? I’ll tell you the next step because I’ve captioned so many people getting ripped off like this. They’ll tell you to either buy gift cards or transfer money through Western Union.”

“Never mind. I ask for help, and you don’t help me.” She started to walk away.

I’d blocked the scammer’s page, but Facebook leaves a note at the bottom of messages telling you the person is blocked. She saw, and wanted me to unblock it.

“Do you really think I’m such a hateful person? Do you think I’m saying this because I don’t want to help?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I asked for help. I’ll just figure it out on my own,” she said.

“It’s not helping if I know something is a scam and I contribute to you giving them money. I don’t want you to lose the house—”

“I’m not going to.”

“Or give them access to your bank account.”

“I didn’t.”

“Mom, when has the government ever just given someone $250k? When has anyone in this country helped like that? All those years you and dad needed help, when was this ever a thing? It’s a scam.”

“Oh well. We’ll see. If I get scammed, I get scammed,” she said.

That’s the reality of adulthood, isn’t it? I unblocked the page. She’s not a child. And unless she ever gets some diagnosis proving she’s not mentally able to handle her own accounts, I can’t just make decisions for her.

I asked my sisters for help. Maybe she’d listen to one of them instead. My younger sister said mom reminds her of her elderly patients from nursing homes; that they double down and see it as being treated like children even if you’re just trying to help.
She has a way of talking to them that sounds to me like how you’d speak to a child, but elderly people respond so well to.

“I don’t know how to be gentle and reassuring,” I said.

“You really don’t.”

🤨…😔 I really don’t.

I need someone else to help her. I’m so sick of being seen as the bad guy.
But it’s okay. Sometimes, we’re better after losing everything. Part of me wants to make sure she doesn’t lose her house; and part of me thinks “that would solve the hoarding issue.”

I cried anyway, because she’d looked really nice. And it’s all for lies.
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Kirect89 · 56-60, M
If you ever want someone to listen you, you write them a letter or an email. This is because when you tell someone something verbally, they never remember everything you said and they also cannot always take it seriously unless both sides are on the same level of respect.

Tell her how you feel about her and what your feelings are towards what is going on in the world and you can start out by saying something like:

Everyone knows and you also know mom, that if the Government wants to get a hold of you or anyone, they send you a letter by mail. The government doesn't use social media. I am only trying to help because I care about you and want to make sure no one ever takes you for what you own.
Wait for her to respond to you about the email and don't ever mention anything about it until she does or if she does. When talking to her speak in a low tone and never shout ever if she is shouting. If she starts to argue don't say anything or argue back.


Remember no on argues with themselves.
@Kirect89 I have on different occasions. She won’t read anything my sisters or I send to her.
Kirect89 · 56-60, M
@Colonelmustardseed Maybe she reads it but doesn't tell you.
@Kirect89 She also never changes. What was addressed before, she didn’t acknowledge at all even to do things differently.