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In the back of my mind this still makes me mad

I'm sorry this is a little long

So my favorite cousin, Jill, just called me. She was at the hospital with her husband for testing. Maybe cancer they don't know. Anyway, she calls and is not happy about the fact that she stayed at the hospital all day yesterday. And half a day today. It's not that she doesn't want to be there for her husband. So I'm listening and as she's complaining I say, yeah I did that with Dad more times than I can count. She doesn't acknowledge I said anything and continues to talk. I love her and I feel sorry to a point. But she, her 5 siblings , or my aunt and uncle ever cared that for a year I was at the hospital with dad more than I was home. The last four months he traveled from hospital to nursing homes where he eventually died. Not her nor her family ever asked how I was doing. They never offered to help in any way. Plus they never visited Dad.
So I'm still hung up on this fact and I can't bring myself to fee too sorry for her.
perhaps you could reframe it and think that it's kind of a shame for her that either she has so little awareness, so little bandwith, or is so self absorbed that she couldn't then and can't now have an ounce of empathy for you and your struggles, while you have riches of compassion for her situation of not for her as a person and then you may see her as someone to be pitied and you can be glad that you have not her limitations and wouldn't want them?

just suggesting. the stories we tell ourselves about how/why people are doing things can have a big influence on how we feel about current situations, even if there's no discernable difference in actions/doings/etc.
Livingwell · 61-69, M
I get where you're coming from. Little empathy and help would have been appreciated.

 
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