Is everything going to be ok …. 😞?

@SnailTeeth it’s been sh!tty since 2013. Sh!ttier in 2017. Sh!ttier still in 2020. Idk when it will end but it’s getting worse not better.

@DoubleRings I edit my replies.... If the last line doesn't match, you might've read it before it was ready. Sorry.

What's upsetting you most right now? If it's not too triggering.

I'm just asking out of curiosity. I don't think concern always helps these things, I think it's a taboo word.

@DoubleRings Respectfully, I think change can be more traumatic than we give it credit for.

I don't know what's happened, but it seems traumatic. And that's usually because of great, unintended change.

@DoubleRings Sometimes even just changing, can shock the system. Habits need to be gradually integrated, or sometimes we think we're under attack. And don't realise we're just overburdening ourselves.

@DoubleRings I hope you don't mind.

A) I don't really keep track of ppl on here, I just respond randomly if I think maybe I can listen or be supportive. So I'm not always aware of who I know/don't know. I usually try to live in the moment.

B) I checked out your history, your habit of posting. It sounds like you're in it.

The good news is, I believe you'll be better than before, for having endured and overcome.

I don't say that lightly.

It sounds traumatic.

It sounds like you're processing and dealing with accepting emotions that are complex, and you might not have been ready to process.

I think you can work through them.

I think it takes time, understanding, wisdom. It esp. takes distance and settling, to calm yourself back down.

Don't let the bad things in your life, constantly make you feel like your fighting/running.

If you're not resting, that's what you need to do.

If your home is not restful, and there's no respite anywhere else, you're running on instinct.

It's not good for long-term decision making.

it's not good for your emotional state.

@SnailTeeth don't wanna be there

@originnone But you don't want to not be here. Otherwise this moment of crisis wouldn't be plaguing you.

Restful sleep is the first step.

Trust me.

If you need to sleep in a car.

If you need to sleep at a trusted friend's house.

If you need to sleep a week at a shelter, until they can get you to a place where you can rest.

You need to sleep no matter what. You need to rest no matter what.


If you're feeling emotional and frustrated and out of control all the time, it's going to be okay.

I don't know you.

I can only tell you that from where I've been.

I don't even know what that means to anyone but myself. Right?

We're all having our hardest day sometimes, and never really know what other peoples' hardest days are like.

I just think of it all as relatively the hardest day.

The hardest years.

The most crushing truths chipping away at us.

But how many cups of coffee have you wasted accidentally?

How many letters have you mistyped?

How many times have you smiled in your life?

I'm sure each smile didn't feel the same.

Maybe some of them were never felt again.

Feelings come and go like vast empires that mirror our passions.

You can control those.

You've made noble sacrifices,

You're not a fool, maybe you're a victim, but if you get out of this, it can never hold power over you again.

So then what do you become?

Please just find somewhere to rest. Lie low. Talk to trusted, good people if you have them.

But please rest, so that you make decisions out of calm wisdom, and not flightful despair.

You know better than that.

@SnailTeeth LOL! I can't sleep...I have to be up every 30-60 minutes to tend to my wife. I will never have a full night's sleep again, and my last one was indecember.....Rest?

@originnone Exactly.

That's what I was worried about.

You need sleep.

Don't overshare, don't make a big production.

First step is first.

Get sleep.

If you need to go to walk-in tomorrow and get some meds, please do.

You need to sleep, and you need try not to make too many sudden or big changes right now.

I think you're having a nervous fight/flight response from over-exposure to stress.

I think that's the first thing you need to resolve.

When you're well-rested enough, and calm, that's when you try to ask for your next move.

Imagine you just need to sleep in your nest. That's all this is.

Warm nest right now. Cold world tomorrow.

After you're warm and rested.

@SnailTeeth Didn't you see what I wrote? Circumstances make it such that I don't have the availability of a full night's sleep....even if I were hit with a tranquilizer gun....

@originnone Where do you like to go, when you need to just space out? Answer it in whatever way you feel, but in a way that is true to you.

It could be anywhere.

@SnailTeeth I can't leave, dude....24/7....when I need to get away, I don't.

@originnone So you never space out?

@originnone ah, nvm... i thought i was talking to one person... this is all useles. xD

Anyways, I hope you get through it.

I'll try to pay better attention next time.

I'm sorry. I'm so embarassed.

I think I'm the one who needs to sleep.

Or at least nap.

Peace and love guys.

I appreciate you both.

Thanks for at least not leaving.

I hope tomorrow is brighter.

@SnailTeeth What the he!! are you smoking?

@originnone I'm not.

I just don't really expect to be talking with two people. It caught me off-guard.

I'm working through some stuff, and just any communication right now, is probably good exposure for me to test the sturdiness of my own triggers.

I'm trying to learn how to hold light for people, after being so heavy and dark for so many years.

@originnone I'm trying to break the habit of continuously reliving my trauma loops.

I'm trying to be a better person.

It's a learning exercise, but it's also therapeutic.

@SnailTeeth oh, sorry.....I didn't realize what you were saying. I'm the idiot....

@originnone I also need to not try and overshare, or try and think everyone's house is burning down every time I smell toast.

So that's probably why you think I'm smoking.

It's hard to domesticate and turn off. Esp. after coming out of it for so many years.

@SnailTeeth ...why bother? I mean, not for you. If you're happy with that, I'm all for you,...but for me it's not worth it.

@originnone The dumb, protective part of my brain is still not trained to rest. It's overactive, and I'm learning to reintegrate it healthily.

@originnone Because I think there is an answer that can work for you, you just haven't stuck with the problem long enough yet.
I think it exists for everyone.
It's not easy, and it's not even necessary.
But I think you can get over it.

@SnailTeeth That's fine, but I neither seek it nor desire it.

@originnone I think you can train yourself to run that hill. Right?
Whatever this is, whatever you're running up and down all day right now.
You're just training to get over it.
I believe you will.

@SnailTeeth Yep, I can run the hill with the best of them. No one can bang it forward, get knocked out and get back like I can....and I want to end the game.