I felt something similar when my mom was critically ill. If I could give her my life so that she'd survive. As if it wasn't necessary for me to keep going if anything happened to her. It's tough. But, don't be guilty for what is beyond your control. On the contrary, being well enables you to take care of them. When they see you in good health it can lift their spirits. They want you to be okay, because they love you, too. I wish them both a speedy recovery & you continuous health. Hugs