Are you an adult but still feel trapped?

Never wanted to move back home. Its not my place and i have to share it with my brother (which i dont mind) and my insufferable father. Cant have a normal conversation with him. To him the world is bleak and cold. Everything is wrong and none of it is his fault. I asked him the other day about some stuff i read about weight lifting and losing fat because i wanna get rid of this belly. Again, cuts me off mid sentence and insists on "correcting" everything i say. Thanks dad, you inspire an awful lot of confidence.

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Carissimi · F

As painful as it may be, you have to let your father go, or at least avoid him, but more important is not to share anything about your life with him, including your thoughts and goals. He is a negative drain on your mental wellbeing, and probably will never change. I’m sorry.

JestAJester · 31-35, M

@Carissimi practically already do that. Once in awhile i make the mistake ot trying to share something with him that im passionate about. He does this thing where he kind of nods in acknowledgment but doesnt say anything and then pretends im not there. Gets super frustrated when i reciprocate that.

Carissimi · F

It is that eternal (false) hope that a child has that their parent will approve, and take an interest in them. It’s not really eternal, but it can last for decades, at least. It’s natural to slip up and forget you are talking to a “withholder,” and maybe even a narcissist. Whatever the label, it’s abusive, even if it’s passive. It will always be with you, but it can be buried deep in your store consciousness, only to raise its painful head up when some association/trigger brings it to the fore. Just know that it’s not you. It’s him. @JestAJester

iamelijah · 26-30, M

My dad always looking down on since I didn't work in governmental sector. It's like a disappoinment to him. Well, he is getting older and looked like has dementia now. I can't move out either and I have to look after him forever.

Plus, my sisters never encouraged me to working far anymore. It really dull, trapped and bored since they always interfere my personal life.
I feel really can't breath too much restriction even though I am adult.

JestAJester · 31-35, M

@iamelijah similar situation. No dementia, just depression from the divorce. Getting old, finding it hard to do anything anymore. Probably a result of the depression. I fear he'll go off the deep end someday

GBPackersFan · 41-45, M

Yes I’m in my 40’s and still watch Saturday morning cartoons and wear my Cookie Monster onesie

SW-User

Tbh you can try discussing happy memories from his life cuz its the same w my dad, he still treats me like a child so i ignore his calls but then he forwards these corny uplifting messages which makes me feel ungrateful and i end up tolerating him for a short conversation lol

JestAJester · 31-35, M

@SW-User im not so sure he has happy memories

SW-User

@JestAJester then try the carnegie rule to not condemn/criticise/complain it always works w their generation bc of their huge ego

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SW-User

My dad is the same exact way. He loves to talk down to people he knows because he doesn't have the balls to do it to strangers. We kind of just coexist and speak as little as possible.

JestAJester · 31-35, M

@SW-User yah he doesnt talk down to anyone else except family. Apparently once h3 told my brother he does that because we can handle it better. What a crock of shit

SStarfish ·

Watch an inspirational movie with him 😃

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