Am I over-reacting?
TL;DR Super anxious last night, tried to wake boyfriend up for help bc of anxiety attack but he said he had to sleep bc he had work.
So to get atriaght to the point, I have extremely intense anxiety.
I haven't had my prescription (Lexapro) in about a week bc I've been quarantined and couldn't see my doctor. (4 months since my last visit to him, I need a higher prescription.)
I've been having mild withdrawal symptoms including brain zaps and of course my intense anxiety returned.
I've been dignosed with anxiety since I was 14, I'm 20 now. I didn't get on medicine until I was 20.
As a result of my long term, severe anxiety, I developed a chronic pain condition. It results in cartilage bulging out and creating a lump on my chest. This terrifies me everytime and causes me to uncontrollably shake. It only happens when my anxiety spikes and causes a panic attack.
Last night it started to happen. I did everything I could to calm down. Out if bed and walked out in the cold, made sure all the doors were locked, went to the bathroom, focused on my breathing, etc. But it didn't help.
I went to wake up my boyfriend and ask him for help. Usually just him running his hand down my back could help a little, so that's what I asked for.
The first time I woke him up he fell asleep before he could finish asking what I woke him up for. The 2nd time I woke him up he said he had a big day starting in the morning and I couldn't keep him awake.
He's right, he has a big day. He is the excutive ( and only ) chef for a wedding/catering company. He has 10 tastings today. 9a.m -6 p.m with an event every hour on the hour.
I moved in with him about a year and a half ago, so you could say he's the reason I have shelter. (I work full time and I'm currently working on a masters in psychology). He cooks for me every night, and is generally a good boyfriend.
Before I moved in though, I told him how bad my anxiety gets. I explained the best I could (over text, we were long distance) he told me he would always help me through my attacks and just hold me / be there.
That being said, I told him I needed help last night and was shut down. Honestly it didn't bother me at first, he has a long day ahead. But I ended up getting in my own head and I'm almost convince myself I should be a little hurt that he didn't provide any comfort and I had to try to fall asleep while terrified, shaking, and chest hurting.
Is it reasonable for me to be a little upset?
* Edit to add I've had a a lot going on lately. I'm 20 years old and have multiple breast tumors, there was an issue with the surgeon lately so I have been a bit more sensitive after that added stress. I'm trying not use just an emotional response before/if I talk to him.
So to get atriaght to the point, I have extremely intense anxiety.
I haven't had my prescription (Lexapro) in about a week bc I've been quarantined and couldn't see my doctor. (4 months since my last visit to him, I need a higher prescription.)
I've been having mild withdrawal symptoms including brain zaps and of course my intense anxiety returned.
I've been dignosed with anxiety since I was 14, I'm 20 now. I didn't get on medicine until I was 20.
As a result of my long term, severe anxiety, I developed a chronic pain condition. It results in cartilage bulging out and creating a lump on my chest. This terrifies me everytime and causes me to uncontrollably shake. It only happens when my anxiety spikes and causes a panic attack.
Last night it started to happen. I did everything I could to calm down. Out if bed and walked out in the cold, made sure all the doors were locked, went to the bathroom, focused on my breathing, etc. But it didn't help.
I went to wake up my boyfriend and ask him for help. Usually just him running his hand down my back could help a little, so that's what I asked for.
The first time I woke him up he fell asleep before he could finish asking what I woke him up for. The 2nd time I woke him up he said he had a big day starting in the morning and I couldn't keep him awake.
He's right, he has a big day. He is the excutive ( and only ) chef for a wedding/catering company. He has 10 tastings today. 9a.m -6 p.m with an event every hour on the hour.
I moved in with him about a year and a half ago, so you could say he's the reason I have shelter. (I work full time and I'm currently working on a masters in psychology). He cooks for me every night, and is generally a good boyfriend.
Before I moved in though, I told him how bad my anxiety gets. I explained the best I could (over text, we were long distance) he told me he would always help me through my attacks and just hold me / be there.
That being said, I told him I needed help last night and was shut down. Honestly it didn't bother me at first, he has a long day ahead. But I ended up getting in my own head and I'm almost convince myself I should be a little hurt that he didn't provide any comfort and I had to try to fall asleep while terrified, shaking, and chest hurting.
Is it reasonable for me to be a little upset?
* Edit to add I've had a a lot going on lately. I'm 20 years old and have multiple breast tumors, there was an issue with the surgeon lately so I have been a bit more sensitive after that added stress. I'm trying not use just an emotional response before/if I talk to him.
22-25, F
