Will you approve a sleepover for a 12 year old girl at her friend's house?

My 12 year old daughter wants to sleep over at her friend's house. I said no, because I don't know her friend's parents and I don't know the background of the child's family. And now, she is mad at me because I wont let her have a sleepover tomorrow. I said to her she could stay there from 1:00 pm to 8:00 pm, but no sleepover. She is still not happy with it. My husband is not helping at all as he just keep on saying "yes" to sleepover, contradicting me once again. I am upset and not happy. I am just avoiding the topic now and put myself on a timeout. 😭

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OogieBoogie · F

I can understand you not wanting your daughter to stay somewhere where you don't know the dynamics.

This has happened to me ...and my option was to offer to have the sleepover at our place .

This way , I knew she was safe , and they still got their sleepover .

Edit: and this way you get to meet her friend and get a sense of them, and even ask questions to get an idea of their life .

tryingtobeOK · 36-40, F

This is a good suggestion. It has to be arranged in advance and we have to coordinate with the child's parents first to make them feel comfortable about their child having a sleepover here instead. @OogieBoogie

OogieBoogie · F

@tryingtobeOK well that'd be good. Then you have a reason to start a dialogue with them😊.

And its a good chance to show your kids that things need to be arranged, just like, if you arrwnged something...you'de let them know in advance.

I think things like this don't have to be a yes/no thing ....it gives you a chance to bargain and work out comprises with your kids .
It shows them. that if both parties bend a little - both can get what they want.

The hardest thing is to get used to your kids growing up, and their world getting bigger.

Sometimes it's not a matter of deciding for them, it's a matter of being honest ...voicing your fears for them, and see if you both can find a way to safely face risks .

After all....one day they will need to face risks on their own.

And this way ...you help them understand the process.

I hope it works out for you both 🤗