I was a horribe and a cold hearted sister to my youngest brother who passed away
Today marks the one year anniversary of my youngest brother's unfortunate death. It's been exactly one year since his unexpected death. Depression and guilt have been killing me this past year because the way I've treated him. This is really hard for me to write. Just thinking about this puts me in a really dark place. A dark place I've in for the past year. I have lost at least 60 pounds of weight over that last 10 months without no intention.
I grew up in a big family. Im the oldest out of 9 kids.
I'm 44 turning 45 this November. My brother passed away at the young age of 13 last year. He would've turned 14 this December. That is 31 years apart. No joke. Same exact parents. My mother gave birth to me at the age of 22 and my father at 30
Thirty years later,my mother at the age of 52 and my father at 60, gave birth to my brother.It was a shock because my parents haven't had a child since my second youngest brother who was 17 at that time. Also my kids would have an uncle younger than them.
i was across the country from my parents and my brother. They lived in California while I was living In Boston with my husband and my kids.All my other siblings are married and have moved across the country. So it was just my parents and my youngest brother living in California. My brother had all these siblings but was being raised like an only child.
I never really knew my brother. I never gave him attention he deserved. I would purposely try to avoid talking to him on the phone what so ever. My relationship with my parents has always been horrible. It was soo bad that I didn't even Invite them to my wedding. The situation is soo complicated that I can't do in depth. So when I found out that they are going to have another child, I was totally mad and found it selfish.
The last time I've seen my brother when he was 11. I didn't bother or care to make a relationship with him despite my parent's trying their hardest to build one. They always wanted the youngest to feel like my siblings cared despite our relationship.
The one thing I regret the most is that I've been Los Angeles with my husband and kids. I've took them to Disneyland at the end of 2019. I never once visited my parents or brother during my trip to California. My parents eventually found out that we were in the city. They were quite disappointed that I was not willing visit during my stay. My parents told me personally that they don't care if they have decided not to visit. But one thing they really wanted was to take my brother to Disneyland along with my children.
They even offered to pay for him.But with me being so bitter and hateful, I refused to take my brother to Disneyland just because I hated every bit of my parents. My brother even tried to text me privately but I ignored everything. I even blocked his number.How can a person be so evil and heartless. This guilty feeling will never leave me. My brother was kind and innocent. He deserved to be loved by his own siblings.
He passed away knowing he had no one to call his own brother and sister. I robbed my kids from having a relationship with their uncle. I robbed my brother from having a loving and caring sister to giving him a cold hearted and evil sister.
Also please ignore the horrible Grammer. I was really not paying attention
I grew up in a big family. Im the oldest out of 9 kids.
I'm 44 turning 45 this November. My brother passed away at the young age of 13 last year. He would've turned 14 this December. That is 31 years apart. No joke. Same exact parents. My mother gave birth to me at the age of 22 and my father at 30
Thirty years later,my mother at the age of 52 and my father at 60, gave birth to my brother.It was a shock because my parents haven't had a child since my second youngest brother who was 17 at that time. Also my kids would have an uncle younger than them.
i was across the country from my parents and my brother. They lived in California while I was living In Boston with my husband and my kids.All my other siblings are married and have moved across the country. So it was just my parents and my youngest brother living in California. My brother had all these siblings but was being raised like an only child.
I never really knew my brother. I never gave him attention he deserved. I would purposely try to avoid talking to him on the phone what so ever. My relationship with my parents has always been horrible. It was soo bad that I didn't even Invite them to my wedding. The situation is soo complicated that I can't do in depth. So when I found out that they are going to have another child, I was totally mad and found it selfish.
The last time I've seen my brother when he was 11. I didn't bother or care to make a relationship with him despite my parent's trying their hardest to build one. They always wanted the youngest to feel like my siblings cared despite our relationship.
The one thing I regret the most is that I've been Los Angeles with my husband and kids. I've took them to Disneyland at the end of 2019. I never once visited my parents or brother during my trip to California. My parents eventually found out that we were in the city. They were quite disappointed that I was not willing visit during my stay. My parents told me personally that they don't care if they have decided not to visit. But one thing they really wanted was to take my brother to Disneyland along with my children.
They even offered to pay for him.But with me being so bitter and hateful, I refused to take my brother to Disneyland just because I hated every bit of my parents. My brother even tried to text me privately but I ignored everything. I even blocked his number.How can a person be so evil and heartless. This guilty feeling will never leave me. My brother was kind and innocent. He deserved to be loved by his own siblings.
He passed away knowing he had no one to call his own brother and sister. I robbed my kids from having a relationship with their uncle. I robbed my brother from having a loving and caring sister to giving him a cold hearted and evil sister.
Also please ignore the horrible Grammer. I was really not paying attention
46-50, F
