Some people don't heal so easily...

The trauma that people go through can be really life changing for them. It can stick with them through out their life. Being bully almost every day, being cheated on after being faithful to them, losing a family member, being looked over at work, being unappreciated that their minds already value them as worthless no matter what they do.

There are so many other factors. You can stand and think about it so often but really what solution can you possibly provide but just listen to them

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exchrist · 31-35

I agree listening to them vent can often be the most helpful. Just getting out the angst. Additionally advice helps. My best is to do esteemable things reassociate the traumatic events to less negative ones. Giving up the sense that anything can actually be done about it; in the case nothing can lets the powerlessness and rumination turn to acceptance and eventually moving on from those traumas. I'm working on several myself.

hartfire

Try EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).
If in doubt, read Francine Shapiro's "Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy".
You'll probably find it in your local library.
There are massive studies on it's effectiveness; very rare that someone doesn't heal with that method.

Choodles · 26-30, M

@hartfire I wish we had a local library ._.

hartfire

@Choodles Unfortunately, the book is outrageously expensive.
I'll see if I can manage to post a chapter (that's within the limits of copyright.)
It'll take me a bit of time. I live half an hour from my nearest library, and the typing is likely to take me a few days.
But I think it would be a worthwhile thing to post on this site.

BasedTurnip2391 · 31-35, M

Definitely agree, but i think the only way to gain closure from what hurt is either accepting that what happened doesn't have to define us, and/or facing the fears that our trauma imprints on us

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