I'm 100% certain that if my sister hadn't bullied me in childhood and if my mother hadn't gaslit me
For getting bullied, I would have turned out a much different person i.e not socially awkward and able to maintain social connections, and maybe even have some charisma. But my mom actively separated me from social interactions. I do remember being normal. I was in pre-school and I used to have friends. I remember. I could talk to them. But all of it suddenly just got stunted. The others grew up, I'm still at the same level of interaction. I'm so fcked. Now I'm an adult, and I still can't keep connections. I'm far too dimwitted and far too lame to build up on a new networking opportunity, and to maintain new acquaintances. And I still can't hack the mystery of HOW. How do people click? How do they form these connections? Most importantly, HOW do they come up with humor right at the spot. How are they so funny? I can't think of anything DESPITE being comfortable in a conversation. I just am NOT funny and there's nothing likeable about me. I'm boring to be around.
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I'm sorry, but as an adult, you can't continue to blame your parents for how you've turned out. You have to learn to work with the tools and materials you have. There are groups around the world called MeetUp where people (often in a similar mindset to you) get together and go walking or out for meals or taking photographs. Lots of shy people in the same boat - but you have to take the first step. Nobody else can do that for you, I'm afraid
