Today I chose to say: No
looking back, I realize I had rarely said it; in fact, I had only said it twice.
The other person’s reaction was unlike anything I had anticipated, revealing a side of him I had never known.
His response was hateful; in a flash, he hurled every possible hurtful remark at me, deliberately trying to provoke my anger!! or perhaps he simply wanted to get a rise out of me; I don't know.
I thought he would just say, "Oh, okay."
He laid bare all my vulnerabilities: "Oh, you're so sensitive. Are you going to cry now? You've reverted to your old self; your true colors are showing." He went on like that while I simply nodded and said, "Yes, that's true." Inside, I was crumbling.
I was sitting down, and he kept pacing back and forth in front of me as he spoke , delivering those heavy, crushing words that felt like bucket after bucket of ice-cold water being poured over me.
When he's done, he walked away, leaving me frozen in my place as his words played over and over in my mind.
I saw him later that day and opened my mouth to say something , but he walked right past me as if he didn't ever know me. Was he like punishing me?
In unhealthy relationships, the reality isn't apparent at first; you give, and the other person gives back, leading you to believe everything is fine and you are on the right track. Eventually, however, a time comes when you continue to give while the other person stops giving, demanding things from you without offering anything in return. You might keep giving, clinging to the memory of how things began, until signs emerge that you are being used. If you are self-aware, you will stop, set boundaries, and protect yourself; but if you remain oblivious and act solely on emotion, you will end up exhausted and drained.
At that point, the other person realizes you are of no further use to them, yet they will continue to exploit you; the moment you become aware of this and try to set boundaries, they will attempt to manipulate your emotions. Some people might return, crestfallen, and try to give again, but if you insist on stopping, if you insist on saying "no" to protect yourself,they will leave.
Not every ending in such relationships will be a happy one,don't expect that But you will come to realize that you deserve better treatment: respect, understanding, and the knowledge that you are just as important as they are, not any less.
The other person’s reaction was unlike anything I had anticipated, revealing a side of him I had never known.
His response was hateful; in a flash, he hurled every possible hurtful remark at me, deliberately trying to provoke my anger!! or perhaps he simply wanted to get a rise out of me; I don't know.
I thought he would just say, "Oh, okay."
He laid bare all my vulnerabilities: "Oh, you're so sensitive. Are you going to cry now? You've reverted to your old self; your true colors are showing." He went on like that while I simply nodded and said, "Yes, that's true." Inside, I was crumbling.
I was sitting down, and he kept pacing back and forth in front of me as he spoke , delivering those heavy, crushing words that felt like bucket after bucket of ice-cold water being poured over me.
When he's done, he walked away, leaving me frozen in my place as his words played over and over in my mind.
I saw him later that day and opened my mouth to say something , but he walked right past me as if he didn't ever know me. Was he like punishing me?
In unhealthy relationships, the reality isn't apparent at first; you give, and the other person gives back, leading you to believe everything is fine and you are on the right track. Eventually, however, a time comes when you continue to give while the other person stops giving, demanding things from you without offering anything in return. You might keep giving, clinging to the memory of how things began, until signs emerge that you are being used. If you are self-aware, you will stop, set boundaries, and protect yourself; but if you remain oblivious and act solely on emotion, you will end up exhausted and drained.
At that point, the other person realizes you are of no further use to them, yet they will continue to exploit you; the moment you become aware of this and try to set boundaries, they will attempt to manipulate your emotions. Some people might return, crestfallen, and try to give again, but if you insist on stopping, if you insist on saying "no" to protect yourself,they will leave.
Not every ending in such relationships will be a happy one,don't expect that But you will come to realize that you deserve better treatment: respect, understanding, and the knowledge that you are just as important as they are, not any less.
