I feel like somebody needs to hear this today. Learn from me.
Narcissists do not change. If you are living with a narcissist, get away. Don't walk...run! Whatever it takes, be brave and love yourself enough to get away, before it ruins your health. God does not expect us to stay with emotionally ill people who are nothing but bullies and can not change. Narcissists do not change. They don't want to change. Their mental illness will not allow them to. Their alter ego has taken over and will not allow them to see they are at fault and are bullies. It's always the other person's fault, according to them. They program you to believe that. These people can even turn into sociopaths and kill.
You've done nothing wrong, and you don't deserve abuse. It wasn't your fault, but you're being blamed for everything. Time to go. It's time to finally break free and live your life on your terms, not someone else's. Love yourself enough to do that. Never look back and never tell your plans to the narcissist. You'll catch a hundred times worse treatment. Go someplace they'll never find you. Whatever it takes, go! Just make sure you plan things carefully. That way, your exit will run a lot smoother. Don't kid yourself, and think you can change a narcissist. That's not going to happen. You can do this! Change is scary, yes, but what is even scarier is continuing to live with an abuser. Do it even if you're scared. It needs to be done. Why live miserably and in constant fear when you can get away. If you're scared, do it anyway. You will be rewarded and so happy you did. Finally, you will be set free.
Pray and ask God to lead and guide you all the way, and he will do it, just like he did for me. Never have any more to do with the narcissist. This means you will need to completely cut off any contact with your abuser. No texts, no phone calls, no letters, no accepting flowers, no meetings, and accept no apologies, because they will not be honest or true. Know that the minute you allow the narcissist to have one speck of contact with you, it will be a thousand times worse for you, guaranteed! All that planning and leaving will go right down the drain as the narcissist tries to charm you back into his life. Not because he or she loves you, but because they miss having that control over you. They don't know what love is. I'm telling you, for a fact, that the narcissist does not know how to love. They cannot. In fact, they are in love with themselves. Look it up. Study it. You'll see I'm telling you the truth. The definition of love for a narcissist means one thing ONLY---control.
They don't miss you... they don't miss your love. They only miss that fix! They must have someone to control. And when you're not there for them to control, they will find their fix someplace else, with another person, but they'll never let you go, if they think you're weak and that a little coaxing will get you back, a little sweet talk. Never fall for that. Never. It's a devil's lie. They don't love you, and they never will. They just love controlling you. That's why you never let them get their foot in the door again because the minute you do, forget it. You'll lose your power and your life again. Love yourself and take good care of yourself. If you don't, no one else will. Have enough love and respect for yourself do not get entangled with the narcissist again. Give yourself the gift of Freedom this year, and you'll never be sorry. Don't put it off. Make careful plans and then make your move when you're abuser is not home. Find a safe place to go before you leave. Take your important papers with you, deeds, licenses, plan very carefully and if you need help in planning, let me know, as I know what it takes to become invisible and not caught. Freedom is the best gift you could ever give yourself this year. You're not alone and you are capable, so don't let anyone tell you you're not. God bless you.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
You've done nothing wrong, and you don't deserve abuse. It wasn't your fault, but you're being blamed for everything. Time to go. It's time to finally break free and live your life on your terms, not someone else's. Love yourself enough to do that. Never look back and never tell your plans to the narcissist. You'll catch a hundred times worse treatment. Go someplace they'll never find you. Whatever it takes, go! Just make sure you plan things carefully. That way, your exit will run a lot smoother. Don't kid yourself, and think you can change a narcissist. That's not going to happen. You can do this! Change is scary, yes, but what is even scarier is continuing to live with an abuser. Do it even if you're scared. It needs to be done. Why live miserably and in constant fear when you can get away. If you're scared, do it anyway. You will be rewarded and so happy you did. Finally, you will be set free.
Pray and ask God to lead and guide you all the way, and he will do it, just like he did for me. Never have any more to do with the narcissist. This means you will need to completely cut off any contact with your abuser. No texts, no phone calls, no letters, no accepting flowers, no meetings, and accept no apologies, because they will not be honest or true. Know that the minute you allow the narcissist to have one speck of contact with you, it will be a thousand times worse for you, guaranteed! All that planning and leaving will go right down the drain as the narcissist tries to charm you back into his life. Not because he or she loves you, but because they miss having that control over you. They don't know what love is. I'm telling you, for a fact, that the narcissist does not know how to love. They cannot. In fact, they are in love with themselves. Look it up. Study it. You'll see I'm telling you the truth. The definition of love for a narcissist means one thing ONLY---control.
They don't miss you... they don't miss your love. They only miss that fix! They must have someone to control. And when you're not there for them to control, they will find their fix someplace else, with another person, but they'll never let you go, if they think you're weak and that a little coaxing will get you back, a little sweet talk. Never fall for that. Never. It's a devil's lie. They don't love you, and they never will. They just love controlling you. That's why you never let them get their foot in the door again because the minute you do, forget it. You'll lose your power and your life again. Love yourself and take good care of yourself. If you don't, no one else will. Have enough love and respect for yourself do not get entangled with the narcissist again. Give yourself the gift of Freedom this year, and you'll never be sorry. Don't put it off. Make careful plans and then make your move when you're abuser is not home. Find a safe place to go before you leave. Take your important papers with you, deeds, licenses, plan very carefully and if you need help in planning, let me know, as I know what it takes to become invisible and not caught. Freedom is the best gift you could ever give yourself this year. You're not alone and you are capable, so don't let anyone tell you you're not. God bless you.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
