I wish I didn't destroy things so badly 😔

I'm so sorry this affects you and you don't feel like you can control it. That would be hard to live that way. Have you been diagnosed as bipolar or anything? They do have medications for that and maybe you could go for Anger Management.

You do not value things.
You place value in the people around you.

But when you are willing to show them that they are worth it, the cost of living with them comes at a price that not only can you not afford to but you really don't want to. Or should.

They start to blame you because you told them that they were worth it .
They want you to put in more work to pay their bills and for all of the little things to keep them happy.
But they want to put in the same amount of the absolute minimal effort. Expecting to see the maximum reward. And when that pyramid scheme doesn't pan out for them, you are the bad guy.

And they start telling you showing you how much you are worth to them.
Making you feel worth less and lowering the value of life overall.

Til you have had your fill and can't work any harder and have nothing left to give.
And if everyone sees you as the villain then we might as well blow up Gotham!
Then we all ain't got shit.

But why so serious?

I am the same.