I Have Done Things I Am Not Proud of

Why are you so sure it was intentionally hurtful? How do you even know that is how she would be affected?

who in the world would be happy after reading such a sad story about a baby with serious health problems??

@newbie: you don't have to be happy about the sad story about a sick baby. But if that was going to destroy your own joy at having a baby of your own, then you're never going to be happy. There are millions of babies who get sick and die, every year. Before that woman has her baby, there will be thousands of new babies born with illness or birth defects or stillborn. There will be perfectly healthy babies killed by the parents who should be protecting.

I'm not suggesting anyone should be happy about any of that, but nobody should take on the burdens of all the unhappiness in the world.

but why would you turn her attention to that fact? there are so many other happy facts u could point out instead. like how many happy healthy babies are born every day for instance. between those two facts, which one do you think will make her smile and which one make her sad?

@newbie: he said he didn't do it deliberately. He just forgot to NOT send it to her. Not that he sent it to her alone. He sent it to everyone on his list, she happened to be on the list.


Remember,,this was to raise funds to help with the baby's health care.
It wasn't just a send out saying hay look at this, it's a sick kid.

oh ok - i didnt pick up the part about that he did it to help collect money to save the child. in that case she shouldnt be upset at all - just pleased she can help a sick child in need! now i dont get his first post at all - guess he just want to highlight to all what a good deed he did without saying it directly :-) well whatever motivation - its a good thing to collect money for such a good cause anyway!

@newbie: you seem determined to put a negative spin on this. Do you dislike Lifology for some reason?

i just said i thought he did a really nice thing by supporting the collection by spreading the word - i mean his point was that he sent it to many people for that purpose - not just one who happend to be pregnant! i dont think thats negative or being negative at all ... ? not sure why u seem to want to pick on me? i dont know Lifology at all. his post was just at the top so i read it. sorry if my comments upset u - thought this site was about commenting on each others thoughts and remarks?

Sorry, I'm not trying to pick on you. We are misunderstanding each other. I don't want you to feel picked on. The reason I said that about putting a negative spin on it was because, while praising him for doing something good, you said[image deleted]
It was the statement about him just wanting to tell everyone he was doing a good deed. It felt like a sting.


I apologize. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just felt that you were judging him harshly.

no offense taken. i'm you felt my comment as a sting, i can assure you i didnt mean to make you feel bad. i couldn't know you would read it and need to analyse my (poor) attempt of giving the poster my feedback as he requested.

@newbie: you're forgiven.

@Serenitree: thanks a lot :-)

@newbie: oh, I'm just all heart. 😇💖. Haha. I'm sorry. 🙃 sometimes I'm a jerk.

I was getting very defensive on his account, and I don't even know him. Imagine how nasty I am when I think one of my kids is being picked on? I'm like a mama bear. Please forgive me. I felt you were judging harshly. I misunderstood your intention and jumped on your head with both feet.

@Serenitree: appreciate your apology. thanks a lot for being honest. the part i dont understand in your explanation of your (over?) reaction is why would you instinctively jump to defend the bully and not the victim? especially since you explain you dont know any of them.

@newbie: oh, wow. Now he's a bully? And are you still insisting you are not sitting as judge and jury, here.


Okay. Here is me. Taking back any and all apologies and or explanations. Apparently I wasn't OVER reacting at all. You are actually an unkind person who has decided without knowing this person that he is a bad person. Could it be you are projecting?

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@Serenitree: please take a deep breath and maybe a moment to re-read his original post before you work yourself up again...

there is no way you can position her as the bully - she is just the recipient of his message - for heavens sake she didnt do anything at all. now he is even himself worried that he might have bullied (or treated her badly if you dont like the word bully). so while he might have done it inadvertly it really cant be said to be a good thing - at best it wasnt a big deal or she might not even have seen the message. yet your instinct as a "mama bear" is to jump to defend him instead of her... i just wondered why mama bear didnt jump to protect the pregnant mother and her unborn baby...

about the potential (over?) reaction was that not what you described it as when you said you jumped without thinking first and you apologized? is that not basically the definition.

sorry you just seem to insist on being upset about anything minor perceived slight ... i dont even think i have (dared) disagree with you!

Get a grip. I see NO bully or victim here. What's your problem?

But I have since retracted it because you're not right.

@Serenitree: i think the only bully here is "mama bear" jumping at anyone elses comments / answers to the original posters question when she doesnt like them. i wonder if he only wanted your view, why didnt he just send a PM instead of posting as a public question...?

If you feel bullied, block me. I assure you, I saw only one person doing any bullying and that is you. You decided he was a bad person and made some really inappropriate comments.

And that's the end. We're done.

@Serenitree: great justification of your victim blaming ... anyway i know what u saw, and then u saw that u were wrong and apologized, and then you retracted your apology. it seems to be you that is the (whimsical) judge who decides (and redecides, and redecides) who is good and who is bad? :-) you should be on the supreme court - you would have the nations heads spinning in no time ...