I've read a number of different posts re. widowhood, where others are really struggling and are quick to point out they simply cannot comprehend how others "move on" from the loss. I never like to use the phrase "move on," because I don't think I will "move on." EVER. But I will move forward and continue to grow and develop as a person. My loss strengthens me; it doesn't cripple me.
Anyway, my topic is on dating. If you love your spouse how can you ever entertain the idea of dating? There's a range of widows who have decided they'll never seek the companionship of another again. Several widows are quick to condemn those who are beginning to date. In my opinion, I cannot fathom why someone would want to perpetuate their bitterness on someone else. One opens up to commitment for the right reasons.
I tried dating once, after much persuading from friends. It was a lunch date. Me being always funny and playful, I didn't really consider it as something romantic. I was in a weird state where I was just finding my stride. I didn't feel comfortable that I kept reassuring myself that the experience didn't lessen my relationship I had with my husband. While the poor guy was so befuddled with my widowhood that it was the only thing we talked about on the date, I was so full of guilt that I only wanted to pray the rosary with him right there and then!
I wasn't ready for a relationship; dating isn't for me. There is no other R and no none will replace him. And I feel that those who are judgmental about dating, tend to believe that's what others are doing: looking for a replacement. Do I think R reigns supreme to any man, yes of course. He's my only love and I still love him. But he's not coming back. And I need to press forward and do what feels right to me. I love the woman who I have become, and I like sharing my time with people I love and with special souls I come across with and touch my soul as well. I don't think it is something to be ridiculed for. It took me a long time to get here.
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