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I Did Something I Regret

I'm sorry Mr. Pigeon, I wished I wasn't so stupid.

You're a bright ray of light that shined in my life when we first met. You're so bubbly, adorable, naive and innocent. You have that purity in your eyes-- a young soul with much sightseeing to do in life. You still saw the world through your rose-tinted glasses, something that I no longer wore despite being the same age.

You had that happy-go-lucky nature which I adore-- keeping up an optimistic attitude no matter what you faced and I loved that. You had an arsenal of random jokes which made no sense, an imagination brimming with vibrant ideas.

The gestures that I considered small were considered big in your book. When I took the time to visit your country, you'll be in disbelief but highly elated to see me. I was too, but it was no big deal for me to visit.

You were an emotionally sound person, driven with confidence, having high hopes of having me in your future. You joked how great it'll be if we got together, despite residing in different countries; just like your parents.

I guess you can say that I regretted losing you in my life. We found each other at the wrong time and situation, which was entirely my fault. But if I didn't find you now and then, maybe we would've never crossed paths in our lifetime. Ultimately, I'm sorry for making a different choice, inevitably severing the strings of fate that hold us.

Looking back at what we had, I can't help but to smile when I recalled of you. You were a sunshine in the midst of darkness that perpetually clouded my life. I wish I could apologise, but it's been far too long since I broke your heart. If only we could turn back time-- but that's not a choice, as we need to look forward without looking back at past grievances.

Indefinitely, thank you for the memories and light-hearted experiences you've given me. You gave me the privilege of experiencing a love so innocent and pure, which thoroughly warms my battered heart for years to come.
second2018 · 31-35, F
Can't help but feel sorry for the poor guy ...he obviously did all he could...but some choices just don't turn out to be a win win for both...that's life....
Azoica · 26-30, F
@second2018: Very true, there's no time to dwell on "what ifs". We can't live in the present if we are always dwelling in the past. Whatever decisions we made in the present will shape the future, so every choice leads us to a different outcome.

But we can't help but to reminisce about the past from time to time.
second2018 · 31-35, F
@Azoica: past is prolong...no escaping from it entirely...you delicate it to deepest level but can be relentless in its refusal from violating you consciousness...it's a delicate balance of remembering the good times and blotting out the bad...
Azoica · 26-30, F
@second2018 I can't believe of the outcome. This is quite an old post but I moved to further my studies, and that's where he lives. We actually bumped into each other and talked for a bit.

But I'm taken and that does leave me stuck on the fence because I wasn't allowed to be friends with him.
Thinking of some one else so deeply but living with some one else. If you have a partner, just imagine he Reading it. The scars of emotional cheating will always stay with him.

 
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