I regret that I tried to be cool in Uni

And started to hang out with certain people, they partied and smoked weed and stuff like that. I pretended to be someone I wasn’t, but basically I was scared the whole time. I was always the first to leave the party/go to bed and I didn’t dare try any of the stuff they were doing.
I ended up kinda stuck, they still let me hang out with them, but they kinda avoided me if they could, but I was too proud to make friends with the other groups, who we kinda laughed about (I’m sorry, please don’t hate me.) I ended up a bit lonely and don’t really have many friends from that time of my life (just a couple of girls from my course.)