Struggles & Identity > Experiences

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Don’t you hate it when people tell you you’re going to have regrets over something?

I do! I don’t have any relationship with my dad and I don’t care to because he abandoned my mom after learning she was pregnant with me. Still, I have always been told that I will regret not reaching out to him, but I’m a grown woman now and I‘ve never regretted it. Then I recently dropped out of college because I’ve been working hard at it for years but have little to nothing to show for it. Now people tell me I’m going to regret not finishing, but I really don’t think I’m going to regret it as much as I’m regretting even bothering with college. I have loads of regret over things I’ve done or haven’t done in life, but not one of them were from anyone else telling me so. They’re things I’ve realized all on my own, which is what defines what a regret is all about. So how are other people going to tell you what you‘re going to regret something? To me, it just feels like I’m being judged. Like they’re saying I’m in the wrong for not knowing my dad or dropping out of college and will look back on it and agree someday. Maybe I will, but for that’s for me to determine, not anyone else. What if I don’t? What if they’re wrong? Do they ever stop to consider that?

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Platinum · M

I think you should give your dad a chance, there may have been reasons why he ran out.....m

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PerchingDove · F

@Platinum What reasons could possibly justify a man leaving a woman upon learning she was pregnant with your child, going as far as to flee the state to avoid it?

Platinum · M

@PerchingDove @PerchingDove unless you ask, you will never know".....I think you want to know,

PerchingDove · F

@Platinum I’m asking you - what do YOU think could justify that?

Platinum · M

@PerchingDove @PerchingDove as I've never left a pregnant women , I can't think of a reason...but I don't know what your mum told you, but she may have left things out....perhaps she never told him she was pregnant...

PerchingDove · F

@Platinum Good to know you can’t think of one. Which begs the question as to why I should give him the chance he never gave me? But are you calling my mom a liar now? Even if she never did tell my dad she was pregnant, so he’s just going to leave the state and never return for no reason. Makes perfect sense.

Platinum · M

I never called your mum a liar, I suggested he never knew as it's the only reason I could think of.....I'm trying to help you but you just attack me, sort your own problems out....bye@PerchingDove

PerchingDove · F

@Platinum You said she could have left some things out. Maybe you didn’t call her liar, but you insinuated that she could be one. You’re not trying to help, you’re sympathizing with a cowardly man who turned his back on his responsibilities and you can’t handle being confronted on it. My dad wasn’t even the main subject of this post.

Platinum · M

Grow up, you are full of hate and he is probably better off without knowing you....you pretend you want to know why but you don't care...good luck with whatever you do....you don't want help just an excuse to have a rant....@PerchingDove

PerchingDove · F

@Platinum There, he reveals his true colors.

Platinum · M

You have already shown yours....@PerchingDove

PerchingDove · F

@Platinum How so, by picking your logic apart and asking valid questions you freaked out over because you don't have an answer? Sorry I'm not the dumb, easily-manipulated little girl you were hoping I'd be.

Platinum · M

In your dreams, you asked me why I thought he would walk away and the only reason I could think of was he never knew she was pregnant, but that was not what you wanted to hear, so you finished up the whisky and acted like a child , I don't care about you or your dad so move on, I think you have a hatred of men, because of your dad now go away@PerchingDove

PerchingDove · F

@Platinum All I did was ask if you were calling my mom a liar or insinuating she is one. That wasn't what you wanted to be asked because it picked apart your question and put you on the spot and start rambling on about how I apparently hate men now. Read your own comments, you're acting very childish yourself. "Go away?" You're on my post!

Platinum · M

@PerchingDove I told you I never said she was lying ......stupid child ....don't reply and I won't ....your dad is so lucky

PerchingDove · F

@Platinum That's why I asked. Full on insults now. Very mature. You're a derelict father too, aren't you? That's why you're so supportive of my dad and what he did. Whoever you abandoned is better off without you.

Platinum · M

All my four kids are great thanks and we are all close....stop making a fool of yourself.....@PerchingDove

PerchingDove · F

@Platinum If that's true, then why are you standing up for a man who abandoned his family? You're making a fool of yourself. If you're really the loving father you claim to be then this makes no sense.

Platinum · M

I'm not standing up for him, you asked why he left and I gave you the only possible reason....but you won't accept it....he may of left because he is an asshole but you will never know unless you ask him....he might have felt he was too young ( still wrong ) or your mum might not have wanted him into your life....but you have a choice of meeting him and finding out why or not seeing him and never knowing....your choice@PerchingDove

PerchingDove · F

@Platinum Twice you said he was probably better off without me. If that's taking his side, then what is it? Or did you not mean it and just trying to go for something hateful to retaliate with?

Platinum · M

I was winding you up for insulting me....the same reason you told me I was a crap dad.....truce@PerchingDove

PerchingDove · F

@Platinum I didn't insult you before you said it the first time. I said you're sympathizing with a coward, which I still believe you're trying to do. Afterward, I said your were childish, but that's it. I haven't taken it to the level you have. Read the replies again.

Platinum · M

😂@PerchingDove

PerchingDove · F

@Platinum You can't admit it. Not surprised.

Platinum · M

I said truce and you are still childish go away@PerchingDove

PerchingDove · F

@Platinum You're still on my post.

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