I Have Regrets About My Life
I bought a bus about a week after I retired. It pretty much ruined my life and almost killed me.
It was a beautiful bus in near perfect condition. I spent most of my retirement savings on it. I planned to fix it up for camping.
My neighborhood had changed over the years as I worked. The population had increased. My neighbors told me they would call the police to ticket me every day if I parked it front of my apartment building.
I had to move it to a storage lot and the only lot I could afford was a distance away. And the storage fees took up all the money I'd planned to put into fixing up the bus.
That's when I found out that every bus broker I called in and out of my area considered the bus unsaleable.I had to put it on Craigslist and at a much lower price than I had paid for it.
Then my car broke down and died. With no car, and all my money in the bus, I had to take SIX city buses to and from the bus storage lot in an attempt to show it to people and sell it.
Two miserable years went by. The friends I had planned to travel and see died during this time.
My difficult neighbor started hassling me.I could not avoid her accosting me and bullying me. It added to my stress.
Eventually, I did sell the bus at a loss that took most of my savings. Lonely, broke, exhausted, hassled daily by my neighbor, depressed, mourning my departed friends, my retirement dreams dead (and my own fault), I became very, very ill both physically and mentally.
Bad medical care brought about delirium. I had a very painful bladder infection and the doctors at Kaiser kept giving me incorrect antibiotics.
Eventually I was in great pain and hallucinating. The doctors concluded I was psychotic. They put me in a locked ward of a mental hospital. I was alone in a freezing cold room with no treatment for my bladder infection and forced to take useless anti-psychotic drugs which only disoriented me more.It was one of the most frightening experiences of my life and I was also in great pain from the untreated bladder infection.
Finally, my neighbors called the police and reported me as a missing person.
When the police located me, the hospital released me.
Desperate for medical care for my bladder infection and still hallucinating, I obtained a vehicle and made an appointment with a good doctor I knew who I believed could help me. On the way there, the hallucinations overwhelmed me and I had an accident (but no one got hurt). I was arrested as a babbling lunatic by the California Highway Patrol. I was shipped off to another mental hospital. And my drivers license was confiscated.
This time, Kaiser had my primary care physician look over my medical records and he got very angry at what they had done. Afraid I might sue them if I lived through it, Kaiser sent me to a top of the line mental hospital and coordinated my care with my doctor. They quickly figured out about my bladder infection and tested me and then gave me the right antibiotics. I finally began my recovery from pain and delirium.
However, all this aged me at least ten years. My hair turned gray. I had anxiety attacks. I developed other secondary infections, both viral and bacterial and was bedridden for about a year and a half.
I turned to my friends for help only to find no one could or would help me. It's been a slow and lonely recovery.
With great difficulty (no car, no one to help me) I moved out to the desert.
Due to the stress of moving alone with no help, I got sick again. This time it was a viral ear infection that took some of my hearing. Still coping with that.
And that is the end of a sad tale that started with a really, really stupid decision to buy a bus.
I am out in the desert now and went into debt to buy a car after It took 8 months to get my drivers license back after multiple hearings and a lot of tests. The written test was twice as long as the regular one, the road test was graded extra strictly, the eye exam was purposely given in very dim light; they try to keep seniors off the road. I passed everything with high scores.
I live in one rented room. I am fortunate now to have several valuable things in my life: A kind and caring friend who also struggles in her life who lives 5 miles away. A beautiful swimming pool. A church I attend most Sundays where I am meeting new people and gradually regaining my mental and spiritual health. I am trying hard to regain my health and dream some new dreams.
Me and Wile E. Coyote. My original hot springs camping retirement dreams now look as if I have about as much chance as Wile E. has of catching that pesky roadrunner.
It was a beautiful bus in near perfect condition. I spent most of my retirement savings on it. I planned to fix it up for camping.
My neighborhood had changed over the years as I worked. The population had increased. My neighbors told me they would call the police to ticket me every day if I parked it front of my apartment building.
I had to move it to a storage lot and the only lot I could afford was a distance away. And the storage fees took up all the money I'd planned to put into fixing up the bus.
That's when I found out that every bus broker I called in and out of my area considered the bus unsaleable.I had to put it on Craigslist and at a much lower price than I had paid for it.
Then my car broke down and died. With no car, and all my money in the bus, I had to take SIX city buses to and from the bus storage lot in an attempt to show it to people and sell it.
Two miserable years went by. The friends I had planned to travel and see died during this time.
My difficult neighbor started hassling me.I could not avoid her accosting me and bullying me. It added to my stress.
Eventually, I did sell the bus at a loss that took most of my savings. Lonely, broke, exhausted, hassled daily by my neighbor, depressed, mourning my departed friends, my retirement dreams dead (and my own fault), I became very, very ill both physically and mentally.
Bad medical care brought about delirium. I had a very painful bladder infection and the doctors at Kaiser kept giving me incorrect antibiotics.
Eventually I was in great pain and hallucinating. The doctors concluded I was psychotic. They put me in a locked ward of a mental hospital. I was alone in a freezing cold room with no treatment for my bladder infection and forced to take useless anti-psychotic drugs which only disoriented me more.It was one of the most frightening experiences of my life and I was also in great pain from the untreated bladder infection.
Finally, my neighbors called the police and reported me as a missing person.
When the police located me, the hospital released me.
Desperate for medical care for my bladder infection and still hallucinating, I obtained a vehicle and made an appointment with a good doctor I knew who I believed could help me. On the way there, the hallucinations overwhelmed me and I had an accident (but no one got hurt). I was arrested as a babbling lunatic by the California Highway Patrol. I was shipped off to another mental hospital. And my drivers license was confiscated.
This time, Kaiser had my primary care physician look over my medical records and he got very angry at what they had done. Afraid I might sue them if I lived through it, Kaiser sent me to a top of the line mental hospital and coordinated my care with my doctor. They quickly figured out about my bladder infection and tested me and then gave me the right antibiotics. I finally began my recovery from pain and delirium.
However, all this aged me at least ten years. My hair turned gray. I had anxiety attacks. I developed other secondary infections, both viral and bacterial and was bedridden for about a year and a half.
I turned to my friends for help only to find no one could or would help me. It's been a slow and lonely recovery.
With great difficulty (no car, no one to help me) I moved out to the desert.
Due to the stress of moving alone with no help, I got sick again. This time it was a viral ear infection that took some of my hearing. Still coping with that.
And that is the end of a sad tale that started with a really, really stupid decision to buy a bus.
I am out in the desert now and went into debt to buy a car after It took 8 months to get my drivers license back after multiple hearings and a lot of tests. The written test was twice as long as the regular one, the road test was graded extra strictly, the eye exam was purposely given in very dim light; they try to keep seniors off the road. I passed everything with high scores.
I live in one rented room. I am fortunate now to have several valuable things in my life: A kind and caring friend who also struggles in her life who lives 5 miles away. A beautiful swimming pool. A church I attend most Sundays where I am meeting new people and gradually regaining my mental and spiritual health. I am trying hard to regain my health and dream some new dreams.
Me and Wile E. Coyote. My original hot springs camping retirement dreams now look as if I have about as much chance as Wile E. has of catching that pesky roadrunner.
70-79, F
