I’ve had four people in the last week tell me they had a nightmare and I was in it

Which seems like way too many. I didn’t die or wasn’t bad in any of them, but I seemed to be generally unhelpful.

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Nightmares aren't literal, they're not necessarily expressions of negative events but often more about turbulence emotions. Your presence in a nightmare could be taken as a good thing, that you were thought about. You may well have been a reassuring presence.