I had an extremely vivid nightmare involving my son

I think what it means is I need to give up on my own happiness, I’ve been too selfish, even though I’ve hardly been selfish at all, he deserves more. It’s a very complicated feeling having no help, no love, no family, but needing to be everything to someone else, a child, who also doesn’t have much family, love or help.

I feel like it’s just the two of us. No one wants to or can be part of our little family and that’s okay. I need to accept it now and just focus on creating a beautiful, meaningful life for my boy.

I’m so burnt out. But my idea is to dedicate myself to him and his fun, his growth and learning. Do everything relentlessly and eventually fade to nothing. I hope I live longer than my parents so I can be there for my boy as long as possible.

I’m nothing without him anyway. That’s the truth.