It was horrific [I Got A Nightmare]

@TexChik more like flashbacks in the form of a nightmare

@Alifeinterrupted ahh ptsd ? Been there, am there . It does suck !

@TexChik it sucks soooooooo much

@Alifeinterrupted it does. Fairly recent trauma ?

@TexChik yes

@Alifeinterrupted 🥺. Oh boy . It will get better . What are you doing about your rage?

@TexChik keeping silent about

@Alifeinterrupted yep I tried that too

@TexChik 🙂

@Alifeinterrupted Unfortunately, what helped me was being able to discuss my trauma. It lasted for years while I was a child.

@TexChik I'm so sorry that happened to you

@Alifeinterrupted Thanks...I have a handle on it. I had lots of help, no one can do it alone.

@TexChik you're absolutely right. Unfortunately, I'm a bit of a loner and find it hard opening up

@Alifeinterrupted it was explained to me thst what I Was keeping inside was like poison and it kept me sick and afraid . Once I did discuss it ... I started feeling better 🤷🏻‍♀️

@TexChik I do have someone on here that I'm really trying to open to

@Alifeinterrupted Good ! Get that shit out of your head . There are also some great therapies available for ptsd now

@TexChik I'm saving up for therapy but talking does help. You are absolutely right

@Alifeinterrupted I had lots of it, being a horribly abused child, the State got busy trying to help me. But it came down to one Dr, a psychiatrist that I bonded with and trusted. He has long since retired but calls me once a month. He will even come by when he is in the area to get a good look at me. He's so sweet. My adoptive father, a retired marine , put me on the path that really helped the most . Venting my rage, by being violent in a controlled manner. Martial arts. I work out every day ...endorphines are wonderful things...and then I beat on my puching dummies. It really works for me and I dont hurt anybody. Been doing it for 25 years

@TexChik wow that's an amazing coping mechanism!! 👏👏

@Alifeinterrupted something to think about 😊

@TexChik thank you!!

@Alifeinterrupted There are lots of us here that have that issue. Unfortunately it never goes away. You have to purge it in the way that best works for you and have support . You need people you can trust that will just to be there for you, and not try to fix you. That will only make you angry. Its a process.

@TexChik you never know how similar your experience is with someone else's until you just reach out. I really thought I was alone in my suffering

@Alifeinterrupted no sweetie, you are not. I was severely abused by my father. We were a farming family and he decided to dabble with making methamphetamine because he could make a bunch of money. My mother fried her brain on it and was always in bed, he became a freakish grotesque figure with snaggled rotting teeth and skin. He hurt me all the time. In horrible ways. When I was 11 my boobs came in ...and he noticed. The night he attempted to rape me I managed to bash him with one of his ashtrays and jump out of the window. I ran to a neighboring farm where I had been getting food and sleeping in their barn at night. I was so nasty and horrible looking but mom (they ultimately adopted me) grabbed me and put me in the bath . Daddy went over there and took care of business. PTSD hit about a year later.

@TexChik OMG I'M SOOOOOO INCREDIBLY SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOU!!! that is so messed up and I'm sorry.

You are so brave and have so much guts to be talking about it so publicly and owning that its apart of your past and it doesn't shape your future.

My hat is off to you! I'm really impressed by you