Aloneness ≠ loneliness
You can definitely be lonely even if you’re not alone. I always feel lonely at family gatherings. I love my family; they aren’t bad to me at all. There’s just zero connection. We’re just so…different. We love each other; we just don’t have much of anything in common. I’m the black sheep.
Honestly, I feel lonelier with my family than I do when I’m actually alone. Sure, I do get lonely when I’m home too, but I can distract myself with YouTube or even invite a friend over. But when I’m with my family, my thoughts are always “Why do I have to be here? Why can’t they talk about something interesting or funny or relatable?” I do it anyway because it’s the right thing to do. They also just have this kind of patronizing/condescending attitude towards me. And it’s not just their general attitude. They don’t act that way towards each other—just me. But I know why. It’s because I unconsciously encourage and enable it.
There are a few friends who make me feel less lonely. Unfortunately one of them just moved away. He was so relatable that it was almost like he could read my mind.
Honestly, I feel lonelier with my family than I do when I’m actually alone. Sure, I do get lonely when I’m home too, but I can distract myself with YouTube or even invite a friend over. But when I’m with my family, my thoughts are always “Why do I have to be here? Why can’t they talk about something interesting or funny or relatable?” I do it anyway because it’s the right thing to do. They also just have this kind of patronizing/condescending attitude towards me. And it’s not just their general attitude. They don’t act that way towards each other—just me. But I know why. It’s because I unconsciously encourage and enable it.
There are a few friends who make me feel less lonely. Unfortunately one of them just moved away. He was so relatable that it was almost like he could read my mind.
36-40, M
