I Wish You Loved Me Like I Love You

I loved her for so long she never saw it whenever the topic was raised she just said that she didn't wanna hurt me or whatever and it was closed the same has been happening for a year I bottle up my feelings and one day they all pour out she said it herself that she wanted the love that I had for her but she was afraid to hurt me I asked why she never gave a straight answer and said she looked at me like a friend then why did you date those jerks who were not there for her when I was they left her and I was there to handle her they didn't deserve her and I think I'll not find anyone else like her because she is just so vibrant different and the problem is every time I see someone I try to find her because when I close my eyes the first thing I see is her , her gorgeous eyes her beautiful smile and her hand holding mine and I'd say I'll never let you go ever till the end of time but unfortunately when she closes her eyes she sees different people or other things I don't know but it hurts why didn't she just value me a little bit I loved her so much and now when she's not here I feel incomplete less secure and scared of everything because I love my small world that I live in I don't like to talk much now I just breath and try to stay alive sometimes I just hope I don't see the light of the next day I'd just like to go in a deep sleep and forget about everything a fresh start a new way towards life a new me I hope I'm able to get over this its been months and I've just degraded myself the entire time it feels horrible and just I've started to loath myself for not keeping her close enough :(