I Am Venting Worried About My Future

So i graduated from college a couple of days ago and i am home with my family again. But suddenly those feelings of failure and unaccomplished goals start to come back to me. Then i remember why i left: I was feeling like my sisters had nice, social lives and i felt that i was a last resort for attention. Now i am working on loving myself (cause apparently no one else besides God even finds me remotely attractive) yet i find this task extremely hard; Now my sisters are tall, beautiful, and are still virgins with many options and blessings. I unfortunately gave my virginity to a shitty-ass Puerto-rican bastard; i am sad because no male might ever find me special and such. Now i'm sitting here typing my worries because no one will listen or no one understands. What is my purpose in life????? Am i to be successful? Will i have all those things i dream of? I,m trying my best it be active in job searches and in accepting myself and all of my flaws but its hard to do when you are constantly being attacked by negative thoughts and such. It would be nice to one day wake up and things fall into place and i live happily ever after. But since this is reality, i suppose I'm bound to run into hardships and self-esteem issues. (sigh) i wish i had answers as to why things aren't working. Is it me?