I Was A Dorky Student

Oh Golly!... During my senior year in my English class, Mr. Wilden was telling us that we are to write a formal business letter to a company on why we are returning a product we bought from them. He clarified that it didn't have to be a real company and existing product so if we wanted to be creative and make a company and product up, that we were more than welcome to do so. We just had to keep it formal, no matter what we happen to be returning and for what reasons. I immediately got to it and started writing and getting creative with the business letter. I finished the letter that very same day.

Noel, some guy that sat next to me, only had two sentences down and he saw when I finished my letter. He then proceeded to ask me if he could take a look at it just to get a better idea on what he is supposed to do so I hand it over and let him look it over and study it. I think he read like a sentence or two before reaching over for his bottle of water and taking a long swig, all the while reading my paper. From the corner of my eye, I saw my pinkhead Nora who seemed like she was trying to get my attention in front of me, slightly across the class.

"Did you finish it?" She whispered, gesturing with her head at the paper Noel was reading, clearly having seen that I handed it over to him for him to look at. I didn't get a chance to nod my head or even say yes when I heard it. A loud, liquidity snort that sounded like a nose fart coming from my right. Noel.

I jumped out of my seat, not seeing it coming. I look at my paper first, to make sure that liquidity sound didn't mean my paper got wet before finally looking at Noel, who had a trail of water coming from his nose and mouth all the way into his pants. He spit the water out through both with his laughter. His face was red and he was laughing so hard and choking at the same time, the whole class looking at him and laughing too, just from looking at his face. He got off his chair and stepped outside for a half minute or so trying to get it together.

I looked over at Nora, who was covering her mouth and looking at me with all the amusement in the world, also laughing. Then Noel came back in and started telling the people nearby us that were asking him why he was laughing so hard, "Did you know what she---" pointed at me, and started doing the whole hyena laughing thing of his. The dude couldn't even talk.

"Woman!!! Damn, what did you write?!" Nora cried out, curiosity and glee on her face. I took the letter from his desk, letting Noel continue to struggle telling the others what I wrote and I gave the letter to Nora, who didn't laugh like he did, but couldn't resist a giggle and shooting me a weird ex<x>pression every once in a while before handing it back to me, saying "Wow, lady..." with an amused smile.

Oh, how I wish I could post it on here, but I never got it back unfortunately. :(
So... What on earth did I invent that was so doggone funny?

Oh, you know. Just a company called Unicorns Galore and I happen to be returning a unicorn because it is possessed or some shit like that because it cries glittery silver blood, changes colors and gets devil horns on his butt, flies away at night and brings me some angry leprechauns that he expects me to use to play fetch with him and all kinds of other weird shit like that and problems I was having with my particular retarded made-up mythical creature.

Typical stuff like that.