I Feel So Alone

i noticed that i try to be as happy as a kid in a candy store to the outside and invite people who feel down to talk with me and i try to make them happy, when i'm feeling totally broken and need somebody to talk to and someone who would be there for me... but i guess that this kind of deceiving is somewhat a good thing...at least i know that i would've want to talk with a happy fella and not an emotional wreck 😞😏