when will I get over this dumb feeling

growing up I loved hugs and touching people so much. now I feel like I have to hate it and idk why. I love it deep down but im just afraid to receive it. that's why it's so hard to be in a relationship. I've never been in one and I'm afraid if I get In none and don't want to be physical they will dump me. I need to know how to get over this fear of affection but I don't know where to start or if I should try to get over it at all.

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Naroomalad · 46-50, M

I was never into hugs.
Im not a touchy feely typeperson.
I have had to force myself to show affection with my two kids.
I love them dearly but it has taken me many years to give back the hugs they give me.
I Grew up too young