Feeling Lost
I don’t know what to do with my life.
I’m moving into my own house soon. Yet I’m completely alone. I don’t have many people outside my family.
Every friendship and every romantic relationship I’ve had has fallen apart. No matter what. Some of it is my fault, I have a bad temper and have a history of pushing others away. But some of it is people not caring about me and abandoning me.
And I ponder why I should keep going on at all when people are just going to leave anyways.
I have a lot of mental health issues as well. I’ve been diagnosed with Bipolar, Anorexia, Depression, I have suicidal thoughts almost everyday. I think about death a lot, it’s become a common topic in my art for years.
No amount of medication or therapy is going to cure me of my depression and suicidal thoughts. When I was with my ex fiancé, I was the happiest I had ever been in my adult life and I still would have suicidal thoughts. Almost ten years of therapy and being locked away twice in a psychiatric hospital. And I still have these problems.
I am mentally ill and nothing will ever change it. Just “being more positive” isn’t going to fix it.
I am lonely, sad, cynical, angry and I don’t want to hurt anyone ever again.
I don’t know what to do with my life. I don’t know what to do.
I’m moving into my own house soon. Yet I’m completely alone. I don’t have many people outside my family.
Every friendship and every romantic relationship I’ve had has fallen apart. No matter what. Some of it is my fault, I have a bad temper and have a history of pushing others away. But some of it is people not caring about me and abandoning me.
And I ponder why I should keep going on at all when people are just going to leave anyways.
I have a lot of mental health issues as well. I’ve been diagnosed with Bipolar, Anorexia, Depression, I have suicidal thoughts almost everyday. I think about death a lot, it’s become a common topic in my art for years.
No amount of medication or therapy is going to cure me of my depression and suicidal thoughts. When I was with my ex fiancé, I was the happiest I had ever been in my adult life and I still would have suicidal thoughts. Almost ten years of therapy and being locked away twice in a psychiatric hospital. And I still have these problems.
I am mentally ill and nothing will ever change it. Just “being more positive” isn’t going to fix it.
I am lonely, sad, cynical, angry and I don’t want to hurt anyone ever again.
I don’t know what to do with my life. I don’t know what to do.
