I Feel So Alone

I'm just a girl who fell in love w the most amazing guy I've ever met but after 5 years i lost him the night he got into an argument w someone and got shot...I've tried to move on but no guy treats me the way he did. Depression and suicidal thoughts consume me everyday.
Life hasn't been the same...ppl say i should move on but that's all just lead me to 2 men sexually abusing me. It's heartbreaking when you lose the one you called your soulmate.