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My husbands grandma ruined my wedding how do I get over it?

It has been about a year since I got married I hate looking at my wedding photos I"m not smiling in many at all. My husband was raised by his grandma she basically said the family was taking bets when his next marriage was going to be. Right before I was about to walk down the aisle My husbands mom runs in the church nursery where I was crying says grandma says she sorry. Grandma has never told me she was sorry then she had divorce jokes at the reception.All she will say to this day is that it was a joke I"m sorry if your wife can't take a joke and she also tells my husband that he's going to do something to screw this marriage up like his last marriage that she was trying to prevent another divorce yes he has been married before . Him and I were high school sweet hearts got back together. I wish that I could have another wedding I don't want to spend the money that's not necessary its so unfair it was my first wedding my mom passed away that day was hard she wasen't there.This women is equally unkind to every one in the family I dont know what to do she is mom to him he has a mom there more like friends she had him young.
JustNik · 51-55, F
Well, if you don't mind some frank thoughts on the issue, while I understand why you're upset, I'd like to offer that few weddings actually manage to be what we hope of them. Where there's family involved, there are wild cards out of your control. The purpose of this wedding was to be joined to the man you love. That still happened. You can't change his family. What you can do is move forward and prove her wrong. Make your marriage as good as you can. The wedding's done and honestly such a small small part of a marriage. Focus on what you have and leave her to the ugly noises she feels compelled to make. She only casts a shadow if you let her. Best of luck now! 👍🙂
firefall · 61-69, M
hold another, small & private, wedding ceremony. And specifically exclude her, use a different church if need be. But make a sweeter memory.
Browneyes7 · 36-40, F
@firefall: I been thinking about holding a small wedding having a do over
firefall · 61-69, M
@Browneyes7: Good. It worked for my first wife & I, to eradicate the painful memories of her miserable shit of a father & how he treated her.
SW-User
having a do over seems to be a good idea. And also remember the bond between your husband and you is what matters. If that is strong then everything else will pass. Make a stronger bonding. All the best.
SW-User
Go on a long vacation..
blackshroud · 26-30, M
Was the damage permanent? Don't get any bad ideas inside and do it on the behalf of dear old grandma- in case you made it through and actually married and focus instead on your life with him and don't neglect building its cornerstones but don't strain things or else it might get sour and permeate through your future kids. also, don't care for as a maid but as a real person with your own dimensions and all, show him the unforeseen joy in things.
Flenflyys · 31-35, F
You should have stood up for yourself then and you should still now. And so should your husband.
Browneyes7 · 36-40, F
@Flenflyys: I stood up for myself I did she told me to kiss her ass
Browneyes7 · 36-40, F
basically turned his sister and mom all of them against me they take her side on basically everything they said the problem she has with me is because i do sitck up for myself isn't that nuts
Flenflyys · 31-35, F
Should have kicked all of them out of your wedding, and now you should not let them in your home. Don't let people make you feel like thst
Goralski · 51-55, M
You b sure to remind em they're going to go into an decrepit nursing home when the time comes 😬
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Mastermadman · 61-69, M
In-laws can if you let them ruin your marriage. Beware
That's okay.. make jokes and take bets at her funeral ;)

 
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