how do you get a shy guy to open up?

We work together...
He obviously likes me but he's so shy! He gets to a point where he will go into a room I'm in , glance at me and quickly leave the room. He's obviously intimidated @Hanging2:

@Bohemianbrassstrings: Then it is up to you to reassure him. Take him by the hand and get him to sit down. Maybe he cannot read you. I am reading his intimidation as being that he is emotionally into you but cannot break out of his shell because I think he fears being rejected or to share his emotions.

You read him just like that? I can only read his body language when he's comfortable. I invited him to the bar with another coworker and he said text me the address... Idk if that's a yes or not Bc when I asked him he smiled and looked away bashfully and said idk if I wana go yet...@Hanging2:

I am a people watcher. Trust your gut instinct. Let it tell you what is going on. The problem I find is people try to over analyse a situation. Let it evolve naturally and dont force the issue. It is very obvious to me that he grappling with his feelings over you. You said that he is a very shy person. Do you think inviting him to a bar with a coworker is the right environment for him to open up?
I am betting not. You will need to take baby steps. Ask him out for coffee just the 2 of you. Or go for a walk. He needs a non threatening environment.

Grappling? What do u mean by that?@Hanging2:

He likes you very much but it his shyness that is stopping him from letting those feelings out. I guess that he does not trust the signals that he is getting from you. Or his own ability to read them. That is why you need to create the correct environment for this to occur.

Honestly, I hvnt been able to send any good signals.... I've been hurt many many many times before. I don't know what I want. I don't wana lead him on. I just got word he's coming tonight and I feel my scars opening up again. I almost wana run idk @Hanging2:

@Hanging2: but he too has been stand offish at times which irritates me. And for some reason I got jealous of this new girl at work... Idk I'm all kinds of confused

Well then I can now understand why he is conflicted, he is getting mixed messages from you.
It is up to you to get back on that horse. To live in fear of getting hurt again will lead to you never trying. Think about that.
Trust your gut instinct and don't over think it.

Go out and see what happens. He obviously is into you.

I really just want to run now... I almost don't wana go. :( I feel bad @Hanging2:

@Bohemianbrassstrings: Why did you ask him to go then?

I push you out of the door. Go. And see what happens.
But please chill and be you.

I felt slight chemistry. @Hanging2:

@Bohemianbrassstrings: Then go and test the chemistry.

Bc honestly. It's not always there with him. It comes and goes and comes and goes... I don't understand that. @Hanging2:

It is because you are both conflicted. It cant always be there. You need to let go of your anxiety and give it a go.
Just don't get drunK!!

If only u could see my face right now@Hanging2:

LOL.
Chill.
No one is going to die if you go out.
The world is not going to end.
You will get up tomorrow morning.

You need some perspective. You will be fine. Just be you.

But why am I getting this scared tho.... I've never been scared @Hanging2:

@Bohemianbrassstrings: Just fear of the unknown. You are outside your comfort zone and area of control.

But you should be excited too.
GO, Go GO

He hasn't even texted me tho. I got word from her not him. That's where the strange feeling is coming from @Hanging2:

You over analysing it.

Just go for goodness sake.

I cant help you anymore that I have. You need to go and see what happens. Message me when you get back and let me know how it went.

Ugh fine lol@Hanging2:

😀