How many massacres that didn´t happen , have you survived ?

I couldn't tell you but they were disastrous. So disastrous. Huge disasters that no one wanted to talk about.

so far all of them.

All the ones that didn't happen and even all the ones that did thus far anyway

Whew, that was close. I just recently survived the Atlanta Massacre

I am a survivor of the Bowling Green Massacre and two other unreported terrorist attacks.

College

3 or 5

Zero.

I'm dead.

Muslim terrorists have targeted me countless times: they are cleverly masked as young Caucasian bartenders and they ply me with a toxic substance known as "alcohol".