No matter how many times I get irritated and annoyed with my son when his father isn’t here

I will always be there to hold him when he’s crying 🥺🥺

btw, I do always apologize to my son whenever I yell at him 😔😔 because I know he’s just a little kid and I don’t know anyone that responds best when being yelled at. I just don’t have the patience like his father does and I know that’s not an excuse to raise my voice cause it just makes the situation worse for him and me. He’s a sweet boy and I’m learning how to parent him even though I’ve been his mother for almost 4 years. I made so many mistakes just these past couple months because I didn’t transition him from summer to school starting. All summer he got to play with his older brother and then boom the next day his brother was gone and he gets to see him less and less because his brother goes to school. I should’ve got him ready for that And so my son did not take that very well and so I’ve been just thinking of ways to entertain him. We go out to the parks, we visit grandma, we run errands, but most days he’s at home with me and his baby sister. And he doesn’t like playing with her so he’s like all alone and I’m always just tired and I feel so bad for him. I wish I wasn’t so tired because he deserves a healthy mommy who chases him around the house and plays games with him outside like his father does with them 😔😔 I’ll get it right one day, son 🥺🥺