I’ve made up my mind
And we are not having any more kids. I feel like I’m failing them being so exhausted and then having their father have to pick up my slack and be mommy and daddy to them while I have to go lay down. It’s just not right, you know. And he shouldn’t have to leave work for me either but one thing, I’m just so worn out. I think both of my sons have autism because both of them do the same thing to me and if they do have autism, obviously they got it from me because they both have different dads, but they misbehave the same way maybe it’s just a boy thing I don’t know but in my boyfriend’s culture they don’t really know anything about autism. There’s not even a word for autism in his language I don’t think. And I’m gonna get myself tested for adult autism or whatever it’s called because they could’ve gotten it from me!
I mean, my boyfriend just says that they’re boys but still I don’t know what the future is gonna look like if they do have autism. My oldest son is gonna be seven and he’s in first grade and so far he’s doing good in school and has no trouble making friends but just when he’s at home, he acts just like his 3 year-old brother always challenging me and not listening. But it’s weird because they can be the most sweetest. They can be so helpful but it’s like I never know when I’m gonna get that sweet child. I never know because they can be misbehaving all day and then put of nowhere, they come give me a hug, but I feel bad because I already yelled at them 😩😩 but they always forgive me when I apologize but still, I feel so bad because I should never have to yell at them. I mean, they are just kids and they can’t help it. It’s me. I need to control my frustrations. I need to be a better mother.
I mean, my boyfriend just says that they’re boys but still I don’t know what the future is gonna look like if they do have autism. My oldest son is gonna be seven and he’s in first grade and so far he’s doing good in school and has no trouble making friends but just when he’s at home, he acts just like his 3 year-old brother always challenging me and not listening. But it’s weird because they can be the most sweetest. They can be so helpful but it’s like I never know when I’m gonna get that sweet child. I never know because they can be misbehaving all day and then put of nowhere, they come give me a hug, but I feel bad because I already yelled at them 😩😩 but they always forgive me when I apologize but still, I feel so bad because I should never have to yell at them. I mean, they are just kids and they can’t help it. It’s me. I need to control my frustrations. I need to be a better mother.
