OK, so today in therapy

My fiancé brought up how he feels like I pick fights 😂 I mean, I don’t pick fights. It’s just that I like the intimacy we have after we fight. I know that’s toxic and is relationship damaging for us, but I like it when he holds me he doesn’t hold me whenever we’re not fighting. He only holds me after we fight. He wants to be serious all the time, but then after a fight, he softens out and he’s romantic and I wish he would be like that all the time. I had my chance to tell him that, but I just kept it simple and I said I never mean to make it seem like I pick fights on purpose. And even if he does think I’m doing it on purpose, he should know that I’m craving something I’m craving intimacy 😔😔 I just want him to hold me and I want him to be soft like always be soft with me OK quit doing the management stuff that he does to me like he just manages me. I don’t feel like we’re actually in a relationship. More like I’m his employee and he’s HR. It’s hard to explain.

Levenrack · 46-50, M

Right there, when you said "he should know" it's not the end-all, be-all, it's made out to be.
In his mind, he thinks it may be the other thing, or what happens when this other conflict arises, or when he made an off-topic comment, and you misinterpreted the meaning when it happened two months ago. Never say "He Should Know!"
You're right. We should know.... but most men don't. 🙃 Good luck!