how do you stop yourself from getting really angry especially when you think people deserve it

usually believe it or not, i'm a mild-mannered, cool, classy kind of guy, but there have been times when certain people did stupid things, which i was in disbelief about, and i got really angry at them, because they deserved it .

but i'd rather not get so angry with people like that.. so how do you keep your demeanor and not really lose your temper, especially if you think certain people deserve it??

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HikingMan · 51-55, M

You need to reshape the way you think about it.

For instance, say someone isn’t paying attention and they turn around and crash into you with a full cup of something in their hand and it gets all over you?

That’s a thing that would make most people mad.

It’s easy to think of that as if they’re just dumb and careless and have ruined your clothes and they don’t care.

If you think of it like that you’ll get very angry and likely react angrily.

But if you think of it as an accident that they didn’t mean, and are probably immediately and truly sorry for, and that they were either distracted by something important or in a rush like you have been at times…, or maybe trying to think how you would feel if you did that?

It reshapes the initial thought of “What the hell?” Into a mode of Thinking which takes you to a gentler place of understanding and not judgement.

You may still be upset about what happened, but maybe not truly “angry” about it?

In essence granting people the grace that you’d hope for if the roles were reversed.

There are no ways to refashion “thoughts”. Thoughts come instantly and immediate.
But everything after the initial thought is “thinking” and thinking we can control.

Does that make any sense to you?

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