Ive been up since 3:30 AM and its 4 AM
And I’m just taking a walk. Everything is ok. He didn’t make me cry or anything. I’m just have a lot on my mind. This weekend we were gonna paint the kitchen, but he’s gonna be picking up extra shifts this weekend instead because of me 😢 I mean, yeah I can paint the kitchen by myself. It’s just that I wanted us to do it together. Because it was so fun getting to paint together yesterday. And I feel like it helped our relationship. We both had the day off and we sent the kids to grandma’s house and we were gonna do that again this weekend so that it could just be us and we could bond again. But I went and I screwed everything up 😢😢
he said he’s not mad at me. He said that it happens but still I feel like he does so much and I just want him to take a break and not be so into his job because it’s so exhausting seeing him work hard. He made so much he could work 4 days out of the week but now he’s trying to save and I took from his savings and feel so bad. I feel disgusted. But then again he doesn’t need to be so disciplined. That is what irks me about him. Because sometimes I feel like I’m messing things up for him. Because he has goals he has dreams and he’s trying to stay on track of everything for us and I appreciate that so much but it’s like sometimes he needs to just let himself loose because you can’t be on top of everything you can’t control everything. sometimes it rains and then it storms and then a tornado happens and you just can’t control that you just can’t control what happens. Sometimes there are things in life that will throw you off balance no matter how hard you go or try to plan things out. I mean, I’m glad he always has a back up plan but it’s like just let things happen naturally. We will still be OK!!
he said he’s not mad at me. He said that it happens but still I feel like he does so much and I just want him to take a break and not be so into his job because it’s so exhausting seeing him work hard. He made so much he could work 4 days out of the week but now he’s trying to save and I took from his savings and feel so bad. I feel disgusted. But then again he doesn’t need to be so disciplined. That is what irks me about him. Because sometimes I feel like I’m messing things up for him. Because he has goals he has dreams and he’s trying to stay on track of everything for us and I appreciate that so much but it’s like sometimes he needs to just let himself loose because you can’t be on top of everything you can’t control everything. sometimes it rains and then it storms and then a tornado happens and you just can’t control that you just can’t control what happens. Sometimes there are things in life that will throw you off balance no matter how hard you go or try to plan things out. I mean, I’m glad he always has a back up plan but it’s like just let things happen naturally. We will still be OK!!
